Christmas Card

So i posted the picture of me and Danielle’s Christmas card on facebook last week… here’s some more of the pictures… a lot a blurry but still pretty funny… i really hope i get a new camera for Christmas!

Still the best Christmas Card Everrrr!!!

Merry Christmas!

No, You Hang Up

holy crap what is wrong with me i feel like i’m 14 years old talking to my first crush… i couldn’t even look you in the eyes today… and then add in the stupid conversation… do you need this before christmas? no. okay have a good christmas if i don’t see you… well you won’t see me since your pick up is after christmas… oh yeah… well you could drop off… yeah i’ll drop something off… okay drop something off… okay have a good christmas.. okay you too… okay bye… bye… bye… ughhhhhhhh…… when are you gonna come in here and throw me onto the counter and smother me with your sexy body… u came in in your uniform today… what is it with me and uniforms lately??? you told me last time where you were stationed… MY KINGDOM FOR A MACK TRUCK AND A CDL!!!!!!!!

Banana Hammock And The Human Response

“my badge says patrolman… i’ve got no stripes” hahaha… as soon as he sees a guy in a uniform (a particularly sexy guy in a uniform) nick has to go bother him about stupid shit that doesn’t even matter… like what fucking asshole goes and tells an on duty cop about some cop in south orange 30 years ago that got shot to death through his bullet proof vest… like that’s the last thing i would want to hear as i make my way back out to my patrol car… “he bled to death but STAY SAFE OUT THERE!” are you fucking kidding me???  this story of course came complete with touching him and that creepy close talking thing he does to people… perhaps maybe i should start getting all up in peoples personal space to see how long they let me do it…  doesn’t negate the creep factor tho… oh and the original reason he went up to him… to ask him why they decided to allow beach access… because no one goes to the beach in this weather… who fucking cares?

in related news… not really sure what i like better… the uniform or the mental picture i’ve drawn of speedo and orange spray tan… this is totally taking my mind off the royal fucking i got this morning on my insurance bill… i’m prolly gonna go home and royally fuck myself later to those images… i can’t even remember the last time i got off so this one should be good…. plus it will give me something to look forward to later…

here’s some pics of dumb shit…

okay but you better be hot with a really big dick!

someone parked this in front of my door… like literally a customer had to move it out of the way to get in… lol… dude was gone for like 45 minutes too…

i guess you don’t have to be educated to drive children to places of education… hmmmm

this guy actually did it first that day… starting a trend of stupidity…

Annoying Ass Shit…

My health insurance just went up 15%… that’s $54.60 more a month for the same exact coverage… i just want to thank all the piece of shit low lives that mooch off the government at my expense… i told the lady that she had to wait til Friday to give the payment so i could go sell my ass on the corner to make enough money… then i asked her if my insurance still covers antibiotics and antivirals because i’ll be needing a lot more of them due to the process in which i need to supplement my income to pay for health insurance… such a vicious little circle… perhaps if we didn’t have to bust our asses so hard to pay for things around here we wouldn’t get sick as much therefore causing less strain on the health insurance BUSINESS. eat shit fuckers… seriously… i think i might make weekly appointments just to feel like i’m getting use out of it… who am i kidding??? i don’t have time for that shit because i’m too busy working 60 plus hours a week to pay for it… fuckkkkk youuuuuuuuuu allllllllll!!!!!i’m gonna go have 6 fucking kids quit my job get me some WIC and food stamps take 92 hours in line at shoprite trying to figure that shit out all while talking on my iphone 5 digging around my coach bag looking for my pin number… drive away in a new car… fuck this world… seriously if it doesn’t end on friday it’s circling the drain regardless…

also… i can’t seem to get onto facebook on my computer… which leaves me feeling empty… i want to go on to facebook to complain that it’s down… but i can’t… THAT is so not FAIR!!!! someone should create a secondary facebook in the event that the first one is not available…