A Few Things

So it’s Easter weekend. Everyone on the roads today is out of their fucking minds… Like I watched a guy make a right from the middle lane of Hooper by Fridays onto Oak while traffic was crossing the the other way… Immediately followed by someone making a left where I’m sure that they are very aware they are not supposed to causing everyone to slam on their brakes some more. Shake my head. Parking lots have also become the giant size version of the Rubix Cube. Can’t make one move without finishing the one before people!!! Be safe out there everyone!

I find it super annoying that neither one of my gyms are open late enough for me on Saturdays… The day always seems to escape me and I really wish I could just get there around 730 and not be rushed. On a good note I was significantly under my calories today without the workout.

There were not one but two cops at Shoprite… I can see why tho. People get a little nuts over ham. The lady in the checkout next to me was incredibly upset about her spiral ham not being free. Gotta pay for that laziness every once in a while.

The only thing open tomorrow is the outlets… I can only imagine how awesome it’s gonna be there… I attempted clothes shopping today and it was very unsuccessful… With the exception of a really awesome pair of heels I got for 5$…. I need some suggestions on where to shop. I don’t know if many women read my blog but I need something in between the juniors department (the world is getting fatter but the shirts are all mid drifts, doesn’t make sense. Also, I don’t wear shorts that would cut the circulation in my vagina off) and the women’s departments ( too drabby and floral). Jeans don’t fit my shape and everything has collar. No bueno.

Went to the Mac counter. Saw my girl but she was leaving… I think I heard someone call her Jade. She looks like a Jade. So sexy. I picked an eye shadow I loved and guess what… They didn’t have it. What the fuck else is new? I set out today to spend money. I spent 27$

11$ of it was on a new vibrator from Spencer’s … Got an orange one this time! I think the guy at the counter was a little weird. He didn’t seem to find the humor in the fact that every single t shirt they sell in there has the word fuck on it yet they aren’t allowed to wear the shirts they sell at work because it offends people. That entire store is offensive. It’s kinda the point.

Someone asked me how I would approach my wife about watching another dude fuck her. I have a few suggestions.
1. Get a porno in which that scenario happens. Gauge her reaction and casually or almost jokingly comment on how hot you think it is. If she doesn’t freak out you’re in!
2. Tell a story of a “coworker” who you “can’t believe” let another dude fuck his wife. If she defends the act you’re in!
3. Tell her while really really drunk. This way you can claim you’re just kidding if she’s not down.
4. Have the guy you would want to fuck her over for dinner. Drink. Encourage her to make her guest feel at home. See where it goes.
5. If it was me, I’d want my guy to be straight forward and just ask me.

To the guy that got hard from my last blog… I hope you stroked it slowly and came all over the place 🙂

That’s all for now! Happy Easter everyone!

Crafty Mother Fucker

So like… I had the most unexpected conversation with someone this morning… Like I was seriously totally caught off guard. Not many people can make me blush and now that I’m thinking about it I really wish I did my makeup before you came in. never in my dirtiest thoughts about you did I think you were just as fucked up as me. Sex toys and voyeurism and getting all sweaty and messy and hot and 3 sums with other dudes fucking me while someone is watching.. Omg! I was so busy today I wish I could of written this sooner. But now that I’m all by myself at home I’m gonna think about you fucking me with my array of dildos while I fuck myself with them. That’s pretty much it.


4 Customers So Far Today

and that’s why i’ve had all this time to write 3 posts in one day…

this one i’m dedicating to the parking lot… not just parking this time tho!

Whatcha guys doing out there???

Arresting grandma!

Purposely doesn’t pay tickets and misses court to get a nooner from this guy… most action in years! hehe





something about this license plate makes me think of sex… it should be mine…but some old dude has it instead.

and finally for the day…. two more pictures and a story…

The silver minivan backed up into the black car… the owner of the black car came outside and started freaking out… going around to all the stores trying to find the person who hit her… about 90 minutes goes by and the woman finally comes back… jewish woman tons of kids in a mad rush to get out of here.. the lady that was hit proceeds to give the lady an ear full arms are flailing can’t really hear what she’s saying but body language suggests it’s not good… the lady calls the cops… the jewish lady leaves… the woman is sitting waiting in her car when the black mini van pulls in and drives right into the front of the black car… literally two accidents in two hours from two jewish women in two mini vans… black car lady pretty much lost it at that point… then the cops show up… she went on and on and on for over an hour that this guy was here… the black mini van lady leaves and comes back later… she’s one of my customers.. she’s telling me what happened… apparently the woman was so hysterical because her husband was gonna be super pissed and beat her or something… weird shit going on…

I’m So Paid…

A few people asked for pictures of me at work… i was feeling kinda sexy this morning so before everyone got in i took some pictures… i’m gonna post them in a smaller size so let me know if they load better! i’m actually gonna post them all… well not the blurry ones and the one of the floor…

i’m not sure if it’s noticeable in the pictures… but my shirt is totally see through… haha