The Past Part 3

Customers Everywhere… And What Am I Doing??

Gooooooood Morning Everyone!!!!!   So far i’ve injured myself shaving, forgot my cellphone at home and was almost (but not really… 6 minutes early actually) late to work… lol… good news… got my verizon rebate card and my netflix in the mail… somehow managed to over pay my gas bill by 25$ so that’s cool and the shoes i bought last week shipped on Saturday so hopefully they will be here soon…

i’m feeling very colorful today… prolly because i’m wearing neon yellow sneakers… the store is somewhat busy but no one has pissed me off yet!!! but it’s only 9am… still an entire day for that to happen. 

so last week i kinda fucked up my knee… not sure how but it really hurt… instead of letting it rest and taking it easy i gave it one day and then went back to working out… i’m kinda glad i did because now it’s fine and i didn’t lose any of that workout momentum… i’m also feeling much tighter… lol… 

i was at Danielle’s house on Saturday afternoon… apparently she’s got this sexy neighbor… and he was sitting on his front porch… i made my way over to the door to check him out a little more… definitely had some muscles… must have been having good luck on Saturday because as i was getting in my car to leave he was also leaving his house… we chatted a bit… i asked him his name… i asked him if he was the kid that was helping me and Danielle get the keys out of her locked car a few years back… he was… he’s 21 now… he works in AC but he won’t tell him what he does… he also won’t tell me his last name… he said i’m gonna have to come around again to find out… i just used data universe and whitepages.com instead… i noticed he had a gym bag… i asked him if he was going to the gym… he wasn’t… so i assume he’s either a cop or a stripper… either way… yum! 

the store is so busy today… it’s making it really hard to fuck off… also my vagina is really wet today… like i can feel it dripping… lol… i get off work early today so i’m definitely gonna have to go home and take care of that before anything else… but then i’m totally going to the gym!  i’m going i’m going i’m going!!!!  

 

 Hottest thing written on the back of a business card ever!

 

 

 My Ass

 

 

 My Front

 

 

 EXTREEEEEMMMEEE CLOSSEEEE UPPP!!! WHOOOAAA!!

 

 

 Mad Breakfast Face!

 

 

 Happy Breakfast Face!

 

 

 

 I’d like to say asshole in fire zone but this is more like asshole parked in the middle of the road

 

 

 Just because you drive a smart car it does not make you a smart person.

 

 

 Felt like my ass looked small this day…weird

 

 

 Asshole.

 

 

 These people parked in the fire zone… ordered food… waited for it in the fire zone… got bored and opened the door to smoke a cigarette… all while in the fire zone…

 

 

     This person was never good at following directions.

 

 

One of my Jewish customers just came in here… he asked me if i was interested in making extra money… by giving him a lap dance… privately… what the fuck??? then dropped something on the floor so i would have to bend over to get it… unreal… but funny.

 

 

and now… some videos of me playing with my boobies!!
well… i guess one video since it won’t let me upload the other… so i’ll just save that video for next time!

 

 

okay so it’s 11am and i’ve gotten nothing done… there are piles of work everywhere… time to get to it!

 

 

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Meh… Bored.

So I wrote a blog the other day and posted it but took it down a few hours later… i’ve decided that perhaps i should cover my ass before talking obvious shit about someone i’m being forced to depend on. that being said… i wish people would take notice of the fact that i’m totally not fucking interested when they talk… especially when i’m doing other things like… playing on my cellphone… talking to someone else in the room… talking on the phone to someone else… eating… drinking… working… staring blankly in another direction or just plain breathing, actually.  i’m not actually sure if the particular person reads my blog and i don’t really give a fuck but just in case someone wants to print it out and bring it to them i’ll just keep that shit to myself… for now.i’m sitting at home right now… it’s saturday night and it’s almost 8.  i’m pretty bored. i just watched like seven =3 videos in a row… now that i just typed that it kinda looks like half a penis and balls… i wonder if that’s the point… maybe it’s an uncircumsized penis and balls. lol…

anyways… as i wrote in the blog i deleted… i got an offer to go down to florida and do porn…  i’m having trouble deciding if it’s for me or not. i don’t have a problem with the act of sex on film for money.  my hold ups are more along the lines of being treated the way i feel i should be. like i don’t wanna be the girl who the director treats like shit because he thinks i’m some skank.  i suppose i just would prefer it on my own terms. i’m way too smart and experienced in life to put up with bullshit. i wish i could start my own porn company… but i guess i’d need time and certainly don’t have that.  i’m not even sure if it’s legal to shoot porn in NJ… that would be so very convenient…

in response to the comments on my last post…

no way will i ever go to giants game… unless they are playing the jets in the super bowl and that’s only if the jets are gonna win.
thank you.
thank you.
and thank you.. anytime! this request was fun! if you want to send me something it can go to PO BOX 652 Toms River, NJ 08754
I do not have another website yet… but i reallly reallllly want one
and i’m glad i can almost make up for it… i really wish that i had more time for fun stuff like this…

i kinda wish i didn’t waste this night dicking around on youtube… could have prolly gotten some laundry done… ooooooh wellllll!!!  i want to end this with a nice picture but my phone is dead so i’ll take some extras for the next time =)

 

Monday, April 16, 2012

Green And White… And A Little Pink…

Happy Monday Everyone!!!  a few weeks ago someone asked me how i feel about the whole Tim Tebow coming to the Jets thing and suggested I also post some pics of me in green and white… well here ya go!

and what do i think about the trade?  sexiest non-championship team ever!  lol…

 

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Where’s My Discount????

i fucking hate when old people come in here and expect things to be cheaper and then say to me. “well, i’m a senior”  i feel like saying back…well i’m a middle class American citizen that doesn’t get the opportunity to live in reduced price housing in pretty little “leisure” communities responsible for paying all of my own bills including health insurance without assistance from any sort of government fund and i do it all in a unstable economy where most people in my social-economic class could wake up tomorrow and be out of a job with no warning due to down-sizing and outsourcing and the fact that you SENIORS are completely depleting the system and hording your money rather that doing useful things with it LIKE PAYING FULL PRICE AND SPENDING IT  to increase the economy… so how about that…  can’t even get into a fucking restaurant without waiting an hour on a weekday cuz you’re sitting there for hours don’t even tip well on your early bird senior discount specials destroying the fucking salad bar… getting in your giant fucking tank cars driving under the speed limit pulling out in front of everyone cuz you can’t tell they are going 50mph on a highway driving into buildings killing people CUZ YOU MISTOOK THE BRAKE FOR THE GAS it’s been in the same fucking spot your entire life (which is longer than mine so far so you should REALLY know better)  so me and the rest of us 25 to 55 year olds working our fucking asses off still can’t afford to do shit barely paying the bills won’t be able to collect social security cuz it’s all gonna be gone by the time we get there should just keep on catering to all you SENIORS… perhaps seniors should pay a fucking senior tax just for ruining my future.. your social security and pension was determined based on an average lifespan that you surpassed years ago… i suppose it would be unjust to just cut you all off once you hit your mark and save something for the rest of us but whatever… just keep asking for your discounts and i’ll keep responding snotty with NO.  your fucking sense of entitlement makes me sick… yeah you might of worked hard for 25 years in your day but what the fuck have you been doing for the last 25 years… NOTHING except for mooching off of and annoying the shit out of everyone else.  so take your fucking entitlement and discounts and shitty fucking pants and wrap it all up and take it to your grave… cuz it’s time you fucking just died. 
 Anyways… I got my windows tinted!!
 Pimp ass car… decided against tinting the front windows… haven’t gotten a ticket for anything in 12 years and i don’t wanna start now… so yeah.. can’t see anything in the backseat… 
so i kinda fell off the workout wagon with all this crazy Easter and passover stuff from last week… my store made more money last week than any other week for the last 11 years… crazzzzyy… so my response to the “how do i feel about the jets?” question and the request for school girl pics and strip tease video will be coming soon!!! I promise!  I just hired a cleaning service for my house so that should free up some time to get these things done!  working 6 days a week kinda puts a damper on everything i want to do… so not fair!!
i was reading this months cosmo magazine and a woman asked a question about the amount of fluid that comes out of her vagina when she orgasms… it’s been a while since i even thought about that whole squirting thing… so i did was any normal person would do and started googling… i found the wikipedia page and read the entire thing… apparently even with all the scientific shit out there and how we can travel into space and cure diseases and blah blah blah… female ejaculation still remains a mystery.. it’s greatly debated amongst doctors and all that crap… some people say it’s pee some say it’s not but then if it’s not where does it come from??? i don’t understand why they just can’t catch some of it and run tests… so this was clearly inconclusive… feeling a little discouraged and even more intrigued i did the next reasonable option… YOUPORN!  definitely didn’t look like pee… no one can pee with that much force… it did kinda turn me on a bit… i decided that before settling in to my normal masturbation routine i would go back to google and try to find out how to make myself squirt… an hour later i gave up… and passed out… i’m not a squirter but at least i didn’t have to change my sheets!

it absolutely cracks me up with men come in here to drop off their wife’s or girlfriend’s clothing and have to let me know that it’s not theirs… lol… like seriously… how many cross-dressing male customers do they think i have?? LOL… 
this little guy was loose in the store for a couple days… then he fell into the garbage bin and he couldn’t get out… one of the mexican women found him… and they FREAKED THE FUCK OUT… like literally running around the store and as far away from the bucket as possible… i took the bucket and walked to the front of the store… they ran to the back… LOL… i don’t get it… it’s just a little mouse… a dying mouse… cuz when he was in that bucket he ate that giant green pill… so i dumped in him a bag and took him to his final resting place… the dumpster… =*(
i gotta wonder how long this stayed on his back for… LOL
they say cell phones are a distraction… well what about dogs that a roam freely around a car while you’re driving… you can’t turn the dog off people… (this car was actually in motion when i took the picture)
slightly less lazy bad parker… i mean like… i gotta give him some credit for walking across the street right? i wonder if he parks his car in the middle of route 70 too?
Sorry for all the giggling but this shit just cracks me up!
This is how girls get shit done!  LOL… apparently my thong was hanging out too… this does not surprise me.
Sexy Bitch I Am!!  lol… and also i have a cool pink case for my phone.
well… that’s all i’ve got for now… i think i covered everything… (or uncovered.. hehe)… i’m really really gonna get around to the requests soon… i’ve got a really good idea brewing!
The guy who suggested I open a whore house just came in… he asked me how my plan was going… LOL… I WISH!!!  Got it… Sell it… Still got it… love that guy…

 

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Time Keeps On Slippin’ Slippin’ Slippin’

 

into the future… like seriously… too many days have gone by… i don’t think i’ve even turned my computer on in at least 6 of them… i guess that’s not a bad thing tho because i like when work is busy… it’s now tuesday march 27th… i’m sitting at work… feeling a little bit under the weather… just took some allergy meds and sudafed so i should be feeling a lot better in a little while…

finally got all the shit with verizon wireless sorted out… it took about 10 more hours on the phone and yet another email… i ended up getting an 80 dollar credit on my account and by some stroke of luck i got this really nice guy in a different call center who got the buy one get one stratosphere deal done.. got my phones, got my credit and my faith in verizon (somewhat) restored… now if they could just hurry up and get 4g into my area that would be nice but i’m totally not pushing it.

i had my first training session in two months yesterday… i did waaaay better than i thought i was gonna do… totallly stoked about that!!  can’t wait to really get into it again!!  time to get super sexy!!

i’ve got something on my mind… i used the word retarded in one of my facebook posts referring to a woman who let her child hold a way too long dog leash with a way too big dog attached to the other end of it walk down brick blvd the other day… the dog ran into the street in front of my car and almost took the child with it… i didn’t hit it or anything cuz like seriously… who couldn’t see that coming (besides the incompetent mother, of course) but this isn’t my point.  someone actually got mad at me for the use of the word retarded.  it’s just a word that describes a certain set of people. kinda like white girl, smart ass, or slut describes me. i don’t get offended when people use words and i don’t think anyone else should either (if used in the proper context of course). in this case… the woman clearly lacked sufficient brain function to assess and foresee a potential horrific outcome. definitely a slow or limited academic or emotional development… my real point is… why can’t America just go back to the sticks and stones mentality?? labels are labels because they accurately describe people… so just accept it… nothing to be ashamed of. at all. own it. embrace it. whatever it. just don’t get mad when people use the English language properly.

moving along…

 

everyone at the gym had to take one of these last week… i’m still waiting for the paper to talk to me… i’ve been very patient but this is getting ridiculous…

 

 

i posted this picture on my facebook but i feel like it should be posted again… like how fast do you have to be going to beat the first light to then smash this hard into a car stopped at the second light… (corner of brick blvd and drum point where the two lights cycle at the exact same time)

 

 

random knife on the floor at my job… turned out to be the missing knife from the Mexicans in the back… they swear we took it and put it there… i hate that they can’t accept the fact that it prolly just fell on the floor during their lunch break and got kicked over here…

 

 

 

this car

 

<——

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

threw this garbage

 

——>

 

on the ground.

 

slobs.

 

 

 

 

 

this guy creeps me out… he’s actually a lakehurst customer but he’s got like the worst case of O.C.D. on the planet… he will actually tell you that too… he insisted that he come to my store to pick up his shirts he dropped off at lakehurst because he needed to visit his sister… actually it was supposed to rain after 3 and he refuses to drive in the rain… he also once made a girl throw out one of his shirts because she accidentally  dropped it on the floor.  he won’t hand you his pick up ticket until after he gets the clothing because if it’s not ready and you touched the ticket he can’t take it back because your hands aren’t clean. all this shit totally blows my mind… but in the four years i’ve been dealing with this man i only really wonder 1 thing… what the fuck is underneath the trench coat he never ever leaves the house without wearing????? creepy shit.

 

 

i have no idea. but good question.

 

 

the most important person in the world drives that car. just so everyone knows. in case you couldn’t tell from the V.I.P. parking spot.

so this guy comes into the store to pick up a pair of pants that were redone. he looks at them only to discover that the stain on the leg still did not come out… i asked him if he knew what he got on the pants.  he replied with a nasty tone that he does not put stains on his clothing that we did it.  i responded by saying that we do not put stains on clothes. he didn’t like that answer apparently because he proceeded to tell me that he is the customer which makes him right and we did, in fact, put the stain on the pants because of this.  i disagreed by saying again that we do not put stains on clothes but we would try to get it out again for him.  he then asked to see wil. (who he thinks is in charge of me… haahahahahha… that’s funny also why would you ask the tailor about dry cleaning issues???)   so wil takes the pants back in without even defending the stores position.. (not cool)…  the man also dropped off these pants

 

so yeah… he never ever stains his clothes… and he never thinks to make his own homemade stain stickers… ugh… i hate people… so the pants get scrubbed and thrown in the wash… came out… not only was the stain still there but the color pulled and there was a giant white ring on the tan pants… HAHAHAHAHHA…. that’s easy to fix… stain never came out tho…

saw this cool ass blimp floating around over manchester plaza the other day…. never actually seen one in person before… pretty sweet… watched it for like 20 minutes… strangely very relaxing… i wanna float around…

 

 

 

a lady just came in here to pick up her order… i told her that she was a day early and that it will be ready for her tomorrow after 5… she said “awww shucks… i thought it would be done earlier because it got cold.”  i couldn’t even help myself and said back to her “we don’t really do the dry cleaning based on the weather”  lol… i really hope she didn’t actually think that.
 if this doesn’t scream “i’m not interested” i don’t know what does… sent this to a guy in response to him badgering me for a picture… well now you have one… perhaps you should try another method of getting people to like you instead of throwing insults and being dramatic…
thems are looking pretty good!!  very excited!! i love tits!  haha

one thing i never want to lose… lol…

 

 

=)

 

 

well that’s it for now… time to do all the work i’ve been putting of for the last few hours… i’m realllllly gonna try to get more blogs in… life just seems to be flying by lately… enjoy!

 

Dear Verizon Wireless

 

 

this is a copy of what i sent to customer service at 4am when i woke up to see all my missing text messages from the day appear on my phone at exactly the same time… i seriously doubt that they will even care. i’m sure i won’t even get a call back or anything but i figured i’d put it out there on any venue possible and maybe start some sort of revolt that will warrant a response eventually.”i just want to let you know how disappointed i am in the service lately.  i’m sitting in my hotel room in atlantic city right now and the lack of service and horrible devices pretty much ruined my stay.  i could not make or receive a call on my device for the last 24 hours and every time i attempted to send a text it failed. then all of a sudden at 1230 i get 5 texts from 5 different people.  you expect me to believe the people i’ve been trying to enjoy my stay with all sent me a message at exactly 1230am? i’ve been on the phone with customer service for over 6 hours this month alone. i keep getting the run around and sent certified preowned devices that still don’t work. i’ve been a loyal customer since day 1 of verizon wireless and you guys have seriously been letting me down.  nothing is easy and no one in your service center can make decisions.  no one will even give me a credit to my 4 line 300 dollar a month phone bill for my inconvenience. i guess i’m the stupid one for remaining with your company despite that fact that your are the highest rates (by far) around. i used to be able to justify it with the great service. not anymore.  i feel like every person i talk to says the same thing.  “i completely understand and i would feel the same way” i’m sick of it. how about “i’m sorry miss Kristina let me give you something of actual value to retain your happiness with our company” but no. i just get a ruined evening in atlantic city because i can’t get in touch with the people i was suppose to meet no matter what i did. (including a hard reset on the device and MANUAL activation).  i would appreciate a real response from a person with real authority and not someone who will just patronize or pacify me.  i spend a lot of money with this company, please stop making me feel like i don’t matter. but alas, i’m sure this will fall upon deaf ears as usual.  i would like to say call me but i’m not sure if the call will go through.  any sort of correspondence would be nice”

they limit their complaint form to 2000 characters.  i coulda used two forms.  this doesn’t even include the woman who i spoke to last week from the escalation department.  she swore up and down that she would call me back at 1pm the next day to try to resolve the device problems.  she didn’t.  she didn’t even call by 1pm the day after.  i finally received a call from her while literally standing in a verizon wireless store on the phone with some dealer only help line called by the store owner.  the customer service guy on the phone told me that i could upgrade a line early to take advantage of a buy one get one deal. (yes i was actually going to spend money to fix my own problem at this point).  the man told me that my dealer was able to change my upgrade date.  this was not true. it’s impossible.  the store owner then confronted the guy for saying it, which he totally denied. funny though because he was on speaker phone with me the entire time and not only did i hear it, the owner heard it and so did two other customers in the store.  verizon then said the only way i could do it is through their customer service department. i asked them to make an exception because not only was it completely against my own personal set of ethics to walk into a small business, use a mans resources and time then not spend money with him but it also meant that i would have to wait for yet another shipment instead of walking out with a new device that day. the person on the phone kept telling me that “we’re all the same company”  that may be true but that doesn’t put money in my dealers pocket and that is not fair. clearly not only does verizon not care about their customers they also don’t care about small business or their own independent dealers.  it makes me sick to think that verizon is this selfish over $99.00.  probably less than half of that in actual costs.  so customer service people, you don’t know how i feel so stop saying it and you don’t want to find a solution that works because if you did it would be done. i’m usually not the type of person who spends this much effort on an issue but since my phone doesn’t work and i can’t play games on it i’ll use my 4am sleeplessness to expose it all.

 

 

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Where Has Kristina Been???

the title of my last blog was definitely the understatement of the century… work has been infuckingsane… we got the new computers in both stores ( much to everyone’s surprise)… and since i’m the one who used the program for over 3 years with one of my wholesale accounts i was responsible for showing everyone else how they work, doing all the pricing and fixing all the glitches… so about a million times back and forth between the stores and a hundred million phone calls and at some points i think i was actually in two places at once.. add that to working 85 hours in 8 workdays and being too wound up to sleep i decided to give myself a little treat and go down to atlantic city for a few nights!so now it’s wednesday afternoon and i’m sitting alone in my hotel room at harrah’s i’m kinda bored but i realized that it’s not what i’m doing that distracts me from thinking about work but just the physical distance i am away from work… there is no fucking way i’d drive back to help them out today… if i was relaxing at home i totally would go in…

went to the spa earlier today… had a wonderful pedicure and vegged in the sauna for a bit… gonna go back in a little while and sit in the hot tub…  i always have the intention of going to the pool bar when i’m down here on wednesday nights but that never seems to work out because i fall asleep… i’m totally a morning person… staying up late is just not in my blood.

so very much into sparkles right now
big ass mirror.. i want one of these for my house…

it cost me 12 dollars for this internet connection… i guess if i’m blogging i’m not spending money gambling… played some slot machines earlier with a voucher one of my customers gave me… i did not win… i never win. but it’s fun.. i want to go over to the golden nugget and play some 1$ blackjack… can go for hours on 20 bucks and not leave with a giant knot in my stomach…

here’s a few from the beginning of the week…

 lazzzzy….
 there’s a few things that bother me about this… 1. terrible parking job.  2. it’s not a stage coach, it’s a school bus. 3.  if your company is called shamrock… the vehicle should be green. there is no exception to this.
 this car has no brake lights… i had two thoughts… for such an expensive car i would think brake lights would come standard. or since the guy paid so much for the car maybe he assumed the brake lights would replace themselves.  i’m going with option number 2. either way… if you drive behind this guy it’s gonna be a total guessing game.
awful… just freakin awful….
i made this sign for work… it seems to me that people are thinking they have a say in things lately… and while i have been distracted the last two weeks that is SO NOT HAPPENING.. so hopefully i made myself very clear… and of course there was me laying down the law in verbal words yesterday too… being a boss sucks sometimes…

while i was making this sign i was also contemplating some other signs i would like to hang up…

Tri-City Cleaners:  We Can Remove The Stain But Not The Shame!( this refers to when i go to tag a dudes pants and there is white shit in the fly)
Tri-City Cleaners:  Mediocre Dry Cleaning But Great Cleavage! (i’ve said this before but it’s becoming more true lately with the nicer weather)

Old Sign: We’re Not Responsible For Items Left In Pockets
New: Finders Keepers Losers Weepers

Old Sign: Stain Removal Not Guaranteed/Not Responsible for Buttons, Buckles, Elastics, etc.
New Sign: Too Bad So Sad   or  Don’t Be A Slob  or  Not Responsible For Your Bad Purchase.

unfortunately i’ll never get away with these stellar ideas… people are so thin skinned lately… and of course i was never good at being politically correct… i have, however, decided that i need to start being a little nicer to people and not be so quick to judge… i also realized the only way to implement this into my life is to just assume everyone is mentally retarded… you can’t get mad at a retard.

I think someone had a pet in this room… yuck… wish this sudafed would start working soon… speaking of… to the cunt bitch at the shoprite pharmacy… you’re a fucking liar… i can buy like 100 sudafeds in 1 shot.  i read the law… and further than that… i don’t appreciate you looking at me and treating me like i’m running a meth lab.  if you knew anything about nasal decongestants you would know the sudafed is the best.  why would i waste my money on crap off the shelf?

i wonder if playing with my food will ever get old… prolly not!
well… i guess i’ve gotten my 12 dollars worth… i’m going to the hot tub!

 

Thursday, March 1, 2012

March Madness

went to the Brick House for dinner last night… we were seated in the back and a few minutes after we got there another couple was seated right behind us.. my goodness they were the most annoying people on the planet… the man was looking through the menu and reading it out loud… “appetizers, soups, salads, early bird specials – whatever that means.”  WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IT MEANS???  pretty self explanatory there buddy… i was really trying not to laugh too loudly… but then it happened… his phone rang..”YELLO!”  he says… i lost it… who the fuck says that????????  yellow is a fucking color not a greeting!!!  does the person on the other end say purple in response??? i don’t get this… but then it gets worse…

he hands the phone over to the wife… and she is one of those people who talks about 90 decibels louder on the phone than to another person face to face… her conversation was about what college a family member should go to in NJ… she literally suggested them all…  and of course the husband was interjecting the entire time… equally as loud and he didn’t even have the phone… the lady also misplaced her cellphone and was really glad the person chose to call her husbands phone…

there was also another couple in there that ordered sushi and sent it back because it was sushi… how fucking dumb… LOL…

i had the baby back ribs… they were delicious..

me: “would you like to pay now. it’s $10.80”
customer hands me credit card
me: “we don’t take american express. only visa or mastercard”
customer: “discover?”
me: “visa or mastercard”
customer hands me card i run it hand it back hand her a pen
customer: “oh i wanted to pay cash”
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

i feel like total garbage today… my inners feel like they are being eaten away… been like this a few weeks now… the only thing different is the amount of nuts i’ve been eating… nuts and raisins… i’m quitting them to see if i feel better… ugh… i try to be healthy and it just makes me feel like complete garbage… i feel so much better on a high carb low fiber diet… HAHA… ah well…

i’m supposed to be getting a new computer at work today… we will see if that actually happens or not…

so i got my replacement phones in the mail yesterday… 1 of them was broken… haha… who ever stuck that certified pre-owned sticker on there should be shot… but then again all it’s really saying it that they certified that someone else owned it… not vouching for any sort of quality… fuck verizon…

i’m talking to a person via text message right now who the other person he is with does not believe he’s talking to me… but he is… LOL… i just send him a picture to confirm… never had to do that before… lol

this wasn’t good enough… LOL… but now i guess it will be since it’s also on my blog…
 Can’t seem to figure out that merge thing? just start off in the middle… NO BIG DEAL…
 “i’m picking my mom’s stuff up… I’m not from around here…” yeah clearly NJ is the only place that has those weird painted lines on the ground…
 Ugh… just give it up dude…
These people must not be from NJ either…
well… the store is surprisingly busy today… the computer people are not here yet… cuz you know if i was in the computer business and i had to put together, set up and show people an entirely new computer system i would start in the afternoon too… ugh… sometimes i feel like the only person on the planet that gets up and gets going early…
here’s one from the other day… they match!!! i’m SOOOO happy!!!
and we’re out!

 

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Create Memo

So… i’ve decided getting a replacement phone is slightly less shitty than a hard reset on the phone i already have because at least it feels like i’m getting something new… even tho i’m pretty sure the screen protector that i’ve come to know and love will prolly not make it onto the 4th phone… so sad face on that… but yay for things to write about…whenever i think of something i want to maybe use in my blog i write it in the memo section of my phone… which does not save to the sd card… so i either need to re-write it out on the computer or say good-bye to it foreverrrrr….

so here we go….

on January 4, 2012 i thought it would be a good idea to look up the lyrics to “We Didn’t Start The Fire” and research every name or reference that i didn’t know.  this lasted about 6 minutes… not because i’m well versed in US history (i failed that class) but because like the reason i failed the class… it just doesn’t interest me… i do like Billy Joel tho…  totally listening to it on youtube right now…

on January 8, 2012 we went out to hibachi at Ikko in Brick with a few friends… there was this Indian family sitting at the table next to us… and the entire time i was think that if i was that hibachi chef i would aim for the dot in the middle of the woman’s forehead… i literally was laughing like a damn fool the whole time… but for realz… it’s funny…

on January 9, 2012 i decided that i wanted to suck the jesus out of Tim Tebow… haha… i would totally still do it even tho he’s not a suberbowl champion…

on January 10, 2012 i had a good laugh at the fact that people actually celebrate monthly anniversaries… not teenage people either… like 25 year-old people… nothing sounds more obnoxious than “happy 16 month anniversary baby”  wtf???

also on this day i was behind some asshole that kept slowing down like he was gonna turn somewhere then looked at his gps then speeding up then slowing down then looked at the gps then going some more… isn’t the point of the gps system to make finding roads easier thus not holding up the person behinds you’s day???  yeah… yeah it is.

on February 21, 2012 while working out at the gym wheel of fortune was on the tv.  i consider myself to be pretty damn good at solving the puzzles before the contestants… i did, however, decided that solving the puzzle first only counts if you say it out loud AND someone hears you.  this doesn’t work out too well since the majority of the people at my gym wear headphones… ah well…

on February 24, 2012 i hereby name the people who are in front of you at a red light and don’t go when it turns green to the point you have to honk at them then you see their head pop up from whatever distraction they have in their lap “Whack-A-Moles”… cuz you just kinda wanna beat them over their popping heads with a fuzzy mallet.  i’m still trying to come up with a proper name for the douche bags that sit in a left turn/straight lane with no blinker on so you get behind them only to have the light turn green and THEN they put their left turn signal on rendering you stuck. suggestions welcomed!

on February 25, 2012 i decided that people should have some sort of like/dislike buttons on them so they know exactly when they are being shitty to someone else… LOL… i saw this dude in the parking lot and he was being a dick and i was like… wow… i wish i could just push the dislike button you… that seems like something that could catch on…

on February 27, 2012 some dick head from Melrose Park, IL hacked into my Verizon account and ordered an iphone s to be shipped to him and billed to me… he did this hundreds of times over to tons of Verizon wireless customers… CHECK YOUR ACCOUNTS !!!

also on this day i got into an argument with my employee because she doesn’t understand the english language… she asked me what our other co-workers wife died from and i told her that her disease finally killed her… she said oh i thought she had cancer… i said she did.  she INSISTED that cancer was NOT a disease that it was just cancer… i explained to her that all illness are disease… i mean break it down here… dis-ease… lack of ease… hmmm… she was getting like super mad but i kept pushing her cuz it was amusing to me… then she was trying to tell me that she didn’t have a DISEASE she just has a chemical imbalance and bi-polar isn’t a disease… so i break me out some google…

A disease is an abnormal condition affecting the body of an organism. It is often construed to be a medical condition associated with specific symptoms and signs.[1] It may be caused by external factors, such as infectious disease, or it may be caused by internal dysfunctions, such as autoimmune diseases. In humans, “disease” is often used more broadly to refer to any condition that causes pain, suffering, distress, dysfunction, social problems, and/or death to the person afflicted, or similar problems for those in contact with the person. In this broader sense, it sometimes includes injuries, disabilities, disorders, syndromes, infections, isolated symptoms, deviant behaviors, and atypical variations of structure and function, while in other contexts and for other purposes these may be considered distinguishable categories. Diseases usually affect people not only physically, but also emotionally, as contracting and living with many diseases can alter one’s perspective on life, and their personality.
Death due to disease is called death by natural causes. There are four main types of disease: pathogenic disease, deficiency disease, hereditary disease, and physiological disease.
just so we’re clear here… i was totally right… buttttt she just kept arguing… and then she even threatened to walk out and break a window if i kept going… i never imagined the words “are you threatening me?” would come out of my mouth the managerial portion of my life… the Beavis and Butthead quoting portion, maybe…  i think that she thinks that the word disease makes it seem like something is wrong with her or that it’s disgusting… i think the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

so today i tried to get a new remote clicker thingy for my car… 150$ for 1 200$ for 2… that’s 10 percent of what my car is valued at for a little piece of plastic… i’d rather get a new car…

well onto the part where i have to actually switch the phones and redownload EVERYTHING!!!! ughhh…

 

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Found This Blogger Application

So… never posted anything from my cell phone before… figured I would give it a shot… I’m laying in bed right now… it’s Tuesday morning and I don’t have to be anywhere till about 11am… Yay!

Been making to the gym for like a week straight now… feeling pretty good too!  My trainer still thinks I’m slacking tho… I’m totally not…

This says I can upload pictures… let’s try!!

Not 100% sure where the placement is gonna be tho…

Well I think that’s it for now!  Have a great Tuesday everyone!!

 

Friday, February 24, 2012

It’s Really Hot In Here

So there i was watching this TLC show called Strange Sex… and i’m right in the middle of the second episode which happens to be about a woman who can ejaculate… which is something i’ve been trying to do forever unsuccessfully… then in walks in mr. fuck me stare… we engage in our usual retarded conversation… this time it was about how hot it is in here and how he thinks they have clothes here everyday… moved right into me not being able to look him in the eyes anymore because i’m an idiot… i told him that i was watching  a really weird show on netflix but i didn’t tell him what.. maybe i should have… ughhhh… he’s the one that will make me squirt. i’m convinced of this… hahaha…. so add that to the list of shit that’s never gonna happen… LOL…as he’s leaving in walks the hot doctor.. this is just a fantastic 3 minutes i’ve got going on… i’ve never actually had a conversation with this guy before… i think he’s an eye doctor or surgeon or something… whatever… HOT… so as i’m getting his stuff off the conveyor i glance into the parking lot and coming inside is like my most creepiest customer ever… so i said out loud… oh boy the creepy guy… and hot doctor actually thought i was talking about him… i made sure he fully understood that i was DEFINITELY not talking about him… so he takes his stuff and leaves… then by some stroke of luck the phone rings while creepy guy is in the store and i’m able to get his stuff and have him out by the time i was done with the phone call… ahhhhhh lol

soooooo it’s now tomorrow… last night was fun… worked 12 hours… trained my new lady at lakehurst… she’s not my lady anymore =(  oh well… she did really well… caught on to the computer pretty quickly too… hopefully it all works out… still doesn’t solve the problem of i need 3 workers here… the store really needs it but my lovely other worker always makes it seem like she is entitled to hours here… like it’s the business’s fault or problem that she’s getting married and her boyfriend doesn’t have a job… it annoys me so much… but she got lucky once again… she should really play the lottery… i wish i knew how to deal with unstable personalities… she’s not even the only one lately… people please take your meds… please…

i somehow managed to make it to the gym last night too… i’ve decided that if there was any place on the planet where a guy was gonna call me out on what i wrote on my blog it should be my gym… i was already red and sweaty from working out so it covers the red and sweaty of hot boy with something to say… mmm… fun times…

well… it’s 830am… it’s raining and the store is slow… but i do have on my waaay cool rain boots… haha… got a doctors appointment for my new boob today… hopefully he tells me i can start being normal again… that would be nice…

i think i’m done for the day… =)

 

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

A Smashing Good Time

 

Have you ever met a person for the first time… your eyes locked…. you got that butterfly feeling… you froze up just a little bit when they talked to you… and you tried your hardest to not say something stupid when the only thing that was going through your mind was how if you weren’t at work right now you’d be following this person out to their car to smash their fucking brains out in parking lot of shoprite… without even asking them if they wanted to or not… not like rape but like… you KNOW they want it too…  ughhhhhh…. yeah that was me yesterday… holy shit… (the butterfly feeling was in my pussy not my stomach) haha… anyways… that was a fun two minutes… then the rest of the night just letting the thought linger in my dirty little mind… hehe…

so work has been going just wonderfully lately… someone asked me if my week was going smoothly and i compared it to skippy extra chunky… people have been asking my why it’s been so long since my last blog… it’s because i’ve spent the last week grinding over some business decisions that needed to be made… i hate how this shit keeps me up at night… i had to cut my girl’s hours back a lot and hire a 3rd person… she’s taking it personally but it’s really not like that… the store needs 3 people… and she takes everything too personally… i hired a woman who actually has dry cleaning experience so it hasn’t been going too badly… she’s got the fundamentals… i just have to teach her the computer and where to find shit… there’s a new lady down at lakehurst too… jim describes her a train wreck… i got the wonderful privilege of showing her how to close the store last night… train wreck was the understatement of the millennium… train wreck… on a bridge… over a river… which landed on a yacht… caring school children and puppies would be a more accurate description… that’s a wonderful mental picture…

there was this woman at the gym last night eating a lollipop… who the fuck works out while eating a lollipop??? i’ll tell you!! someone who clearly isn’t there to get in shape… she prolly just wants to suck some cock… if i was in the position of hunting down some cock to suck i would take a more direct approach… like ‘Hey you!  hot guy trying to lift waaay too much… you want your cock sucked??”  that’s way easier…   in addition to lollipop chick there was this group of woman who were wearing the most absurd amount of make up i’ve ever seen… you know they weren’t there to sweat… haha… i love my gym.. so entertaining…

i’ve decided that i need one of those personal assistant type people… but the only thing i need them for is to remember the names of people who approach me… i SUCK at remembering names… i feel like a total idiot sometimes… so basically like a person with a really good memory who can see the people before they get to me.. give me their name and a quick description of the last conversation i had with them… time, place, etc.  that would be perfect.  this is not a paid position.  haha.

well… it’s 3 minutes after 8am… i can already tell this day is gonna go so slow… i’m also already thinking about how nice it’s gonna be to go home and take a napper after work… gym after, of course… i changed the time i go to the gym cuz i absolutely dread driving down hooper ave during rush hour… i think i’ve said that before tho…

ohh it’s good morning time!!!  so annoying!  haha…

moving along… got some parking lot madness!!

 

 

 

totally acceptable… i get it… you don’t want anyone near your super expensive brand new car.

 

 

dickhead.

 

 

Douche Bag.

 

 

i can’t recall if i ever wrote about my stalker… but just in case i didn’t… there is this guy that comes into my store every so often… he’s not a customer.. the first time he came in here he told me that for some reason he was just drawn in by my presence and that he felt that he needed to be here at this day and time to meet me… blah blah blah… i didn’t see him for several weeks til about the beginning of february when he came back in and sat on the bench for 30 minutes.  krystle was here with me but neither one of us could figure out what his actual purpose was.  he said i wasn’t ready to hear it. he assured me that it was nothing of a sexual nature… this guy was like SUPER creepy… like i’d rather have someone come in and sexually harass me because i actually know what they want and i can deal with that.  so we lied and gave him fake names… on valentines day he came into the store found me and gave me this…

 

 

quoting the bible and a cd with 14 tracks of christian love songs… FUCKING SHOOT ME!!! this guy is nuts!!!

 

i’ve decided to post some pictures that danielle took of me a little while back… i’m still not completely healed from my surgery and i only want to post my best…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i cannot wait to get my hair back to these colors!! i tried to have it bleached out last week and it didn’t work at all!!! it’s gonna be a long process but hopefully by the summer i’ll have my cool ass hairs back!!!

well… time to work!!  enjoy!!

Some Stuff I Think About

 

 

sometimes i really wish i could get the precious seconds of my life back that i waste when i start to read someones status update and it just turns out to be rap song lyrics… sometimes i get tricked tho and i don’t realize it’s a song cuz the first “nigga” or “mother fuckas” or reference to the drug game doesn’t appear til the third or fourth line… just not fair… facebook should develop a filter for this shit…next topic… my piece of shit phone… can someone ANYONE please explain to me why my phone says it sends a picture but then the person never gets it???  where does it go?? a different variation of this annoyance would be when it just sits in the message box pending for hours… the time on the picture is always the current time and it never sends… it’s just not acceptable… so an explanation or money to buy a new phone would be appreciated.  =)

everyone keeps asking for vagina pictures… not gonna happen…. gotta save something for when i get a real website… then i’ll post everything… pics of my pussy… pics of me fucking my pussy with my fingers, my vibrator, other cylindrical objects… pics of me with strings of pussy juice dripping all over… maybe like one in some light colored undies with a giant wet spot cuz i’m just so fucking horny… bend over something like i’m ready to just get pounded hard… ones where i spread my lips open so you can see in… (i don’t really get those ones but people ask) videos of me playing… videos of me cumming… my “o” face… naked workouts… me in the shower… me attempting to insert objects into my butthole (impossible)…

anyways… it’s monday morning… the weekend was pretty boring… worked all day saturday…  didn’t go anywhere yesterday except the gym and shoprite… there was this really creepy kid in shoprite… not many people make me feel terribly uncomfortable but this dude was just weird… i couldn’t tell if he was a normal person acting weird or if he was one of those a.d.d. autistic teenagers that can’t be controlled… his one eye was beat up looking and he had his hoodie up the entire time he was in the store.. he was singing along to the oldies station that was playing in the store but he would just repeat a couple of lines over and over… he got all up in my space a couple times too and i’m pretty sure he called me babe… it was the scariest trip down the bread aisle ever… i also couldn’t tell if he was there with his family or if he was alone… he was walking in close proximity to a few people but none of them responded to him or told him to act normal… definitely very odd… good thing i forgot a few things and had to go back through the store cuz i’m pretty sure he would have followed me to my car and raped me… and not the good kinda rape either…

so my boob is coming along nicely… i think… my next appointment is march 7th… i think that’s a little too long from now… i’m gonna call the doc today… i didn’t even see him when they took the stitches out and the nurse was telling me things that pretty much completely contradicted what the doctor said the week before and my previous experience with this stuff… i really just don’t want to end up with a funky scar or a hard boob… and i REALLLLLLY don’t want to have to wait an entire month to be cleared to workout… i started doing some crunches and leg lift things… walked at an incline on the treadmill… (SO boring)…

it’s 8:15am… it’s pretty cold in here today but i’m kinda liking it for some reason…

i don’t know why but for some reason i find it to be totally condescending when females around my age or younger than me call me “sweetie” or “hun”… why do women do this? the girl that was just in here dropped off her clothes and said “thank you sweetie” THAT IS SO FUCKING WEIRD!!!!! i don’t know you… we’re not friends… this isn’t even a casual setting… i’m not doing you a favor and you’re certainly not doing one for me… ughhhh…. the only women who can say this are old ones… little old ones… lol…

just so everyone knows… the SUPERBOWL IS OVERRRRRR…. yes the giants won… i’m SICK of hearing it… it’s been a week… now shut the fuck up!!  lol… i just told a customer for his mockery i charged him double…he said that was impossible because his wife took it already… LOL…. are there any happily married people out there???

“i’d like to have this coat cleaned”
“okay”
“can you make sure the buttons don’t come off?”
“would you like to have them tightened?”
“no”
*blank stare/awkward silence*
am i supposed to put the coat on and place myself in the machine with it???? like what do i do here?? i’m confused… fucking cheap ass people….

i’m really busy today but time is going so slow… it’s not even 10am yet… kinda hungry… i think i see my bf in the parking lot… i wonder if he would be willing to go get me a waffle from that diner down the street… that would be fantastic….

wil just told me that i missed a lady losing all her balloons in the parking lot… BUMMER!  lol…

my boss just called to tell me that he fired the girl he hired last week… she was supposed to work thursday but called out with some crazy story about her stroked out neighbor and an all night hospital stay… so she got the benefit of the doubt… she worked friday.  today she was supposed to be in at 11 but didn’t show… she called and said that he never told her… riiiiight… fired.  back to the drawing board on this one… not that many women read my blog but if anyone knows any FEMALES who want part time work in manchester let me know…  it still really blows my mind how hard it is to find a quality worker… especially in a time with such a high unemployment rate… seems like we just keep getting only the unemployable… sad that no one really cares about their job anymore…

well the rest of the morning went by pretty quick… time to shut this thing down!

 

 

Friday, February 10, 2012

And We’re Back!

alrighty!!!!  soooo it’s wednesday… it’s been almost a week since i had my surgery and my boobie is looking AWESOME!!!!!   the stitches come out tomorrow and i’m realllllly hoping i can get back to work like for realz…  it has been SOOOOO boring sitting around doing nothing… sometimes i think i need a vacation but i think that 1 or 2 days off would be plenty good enough…i haven’t been able to workout in like 2 weeks… i’m going insane…. and i’m definitely gaining some weight from not being able to move around a lot… the muscles in my back are destroyed… funny that my back hurts more than my boob… actually i haven’t been in any pain at all… not even on the first day… took a percocet as a precaution and ended up so fucked up i wanted to die…. i don’t understand how people take those things for funsies… i just laid there dizzy as hell and kinda nauseous… so yeah… i’ve got 49 of them left… lol… and no i will not be selling them or giving them away…

today’s mission is going to be to try to find some button down shirt that aren’t ugly and ridiculously expensive… i’ve been in hoe-down plaid shirts all week because i can’t put anything over my head yet… i feel like a fucking retard… lol… but everyone says i look fine… they are obviously lying… or blind.  this was so much easier the first time around because it was summer time and i didn’t even need to wear a shirt if i didn’t want to. lol.

i’m watching a kirsty alley movie right now… it’s from 1995… with mary kate and ashley… haha… i suppose this is better than watching get him to the greek and arthur 5 times each… i love russell brand but i think i could do without for a long long time…

so danielle came over the other day and took some pictures of my ass… lol… i look terrible but i’m gonna post them anyway as inspiration to get in really good shape as soon as i’m allowed to!

annnnnd it’s friday…. love how the days just fly by… kinda bored at work right now which is good cuz the last few days have been pretty terrible with breakdowns and call outs and idiots…

well another machine just broke down… i guess it’s time to call it quits on this blog… here’s some pictures.. that look terrible…

 Supposed to keep this ugly ass bra on to keep the new boobie from bouncing…
 terribly unflattering bra…
 danielle insisted that i put this top on instead… it was a challenge…
 then she made me climb in here… cuz everyone showers in fishnets and a thong… LOL
took this this morning… still high, bruised and swollen but definitely looking good!!

so i’m allowed to go on the stationary bike with the full seat or walk on the treadmill at an incline… i’m definitely getting my squat on later today too… perhaps attempt some crunches… i cannot wait!! just no bouncing yet!

also thank you everyone for asking how i’ve been!!  i really appreciate it!  =)
okay for realz… gotta go!

 

Monday, January 30, 2012

One Tit Wonder

Sooooo… if you’re friends with me on facebook then you probably know that a terrible tragic unfortunate horrible accident happened over the weekend… my left implant sprung a leak and completely deflated… (no i will not be posting pictures)  so i’ve gotta go for surgery… in 3 days… not exactly how i was planning to start this year off but i guess there is nothing i can do about it now… aside from unwanted surgery i’m mostly freaking out about having to take time off of work… so far this morning i’ve driven a forgotten bag of today’s work down to the other store… found coverage for a call out in the other store and corrected two laundered shirt mistakes… who’s gonna do that??? no one… plus of course i won’t be getting paid which sets back my financial plan prolly like 2 months cuz i’m gonna have to dip into my savings to get by the next couple weeks… all in all… total bummer…  i’m not allowed to take anymore sudafed either… how am i supposed to breathe???? i have to go for a blood test this afternoon… I’m such a baby when it comes to needles… the cost of the surgery is covered by warranty but i wonder if i could get reimbursed for all the other expenses… 1200$ of missed income… gotta buy open in the front bras again (i literally gave mine away from the first surgery 3 weeks ago)  plus i’ve been to 4 stores and can’t find them…. not even a year ago they were everywhere… only when i need them they disappear… i’m sure there are gonna be 4 or 5 prescriptions i’ve gotta buy… wonder where i send the bill to… i guess the only good thing about this is that i’m gonna be so busy in the next few days i won’t have time to freakout about it… i promised myself that i wasn’t gonna cry over it anymore… so far, so good.  sucks that all the working out and eating right i’ve been doing is gonna be for nothing… i won’t be able to workout for like a month… i’m gonna get fat again… super.it’s almost 11am already and i’ve literally done no work yet… i don’t really feel much like doing it either… maybe i’ll get something to snack on instead. on second thought… the store is awfully busy… maybe i should pack it in for the day… nothing really else to say anyway…

ooh in good news!!! to my fans who want more pictures of my ass… you will be getting them!

 

Monday, January 23, 2012

Stupidity And The Human Response

if one more fucking person comes in here and says “go jets” i might jump over the counter and choke them out… clearly the only people saying it are giants fans… remember what happened to rex ryan when he was talking shit??? don’t think it can’t happen to you guys too…so… my phone is a piece of shit… but what else is new… this time around instead of calling verizon i did the samsung live chat thing… it is their phone and all…

Chat Information Please wait for a Samsung Agent to respond.
Chat Information You are now chatting with ‘Sheila’. There will be a brief survey at the end of our chat to share feedback on my performance today.
Chat Information Your Issue ID for this chat is LTK5640606417X
Sheila: Hi, thank you for contacting Samsung Technical Support. How may I help you today?
Visitor: my phone keyboard doesn’t work… it’s a touchscreen so this is a giant problem… i can’t even stomach another call to verizon because those people have no clue
Visitor: an andriod keyboard error comes up and forces shut.
Visitor: also i cannot get the notification sounds to work for text messages… come to think of it… the email noise hasn’t happened in a long time either
Visitor: this stuff all started happening after the phone forced a software update on me.
Visitor: verizon insisted on a hard reset (this is the only thing they know)
Visitor: i’m still having problems. i would just like to use my phone that i paid money for
Sheila: I understand that you are getting error message process.android.com force close when you use keyboard, am I correct?
Visitor: yes
Sheila: Thank you for confirming.
Visitor: np
Sheila: I should inform you that in order to fix this issue we need to reset the phone to factory defaults as the error message you are receiving appears when there is a software malfunction on the phone.
Visitor: ughhhhh
Visitor: this is the most obnoxious thing on the planet and i’ve had to do it 4 times in less than a year of owning the phone
Visitor: this was supposed to fix the problem last time.
Sheila: I am sorry for the inconvenience. Have you checked with the issue by changing keyboard on the phone?
Visitor: when the text box pops up the keyboard doesn’t… so i hard press on it… it gives me the options i switch it to swipe (which i hate) and that freezes too
Visitor: i’ve cleared out pretty much the entire phone cache and everything
Visitor: why does this happen???
Sheila: It happens when we use third party applications on the phone from Market usually.
Visitor: i only have 2. neither of which use the keyboard. if i delete them will it fix the problem?
 Sheila: I’m sorry for the delay. I’ll be right with you.
Sheila: I am sorry, may I know what exactly you want to delete.
Visitor: the only two third party apps are words with friends and fruit ninja
Sheila: As the files are no corrupted so it might not be possible to resolve the issue by uninstalling them, as you need to do factory reset in order to fix the issue, I suggest once try uninstall them.
Visitor: i find it grossly unfair that sumsung can sell a product that has so many glitches. i feel as if i should be compensated for this constant inconvenience…
Sheila: I can understand your frustration but this issue happens with the application malfunction so we could not be sure of which applications to use, due to which Samsung doesn’t recommend to use third party applications on the phone.
Visitor: everything is a third party application
Visitor: why would you make a phone that is capable of installing third party applications if the phone cannot handle it??
Sheila: Yes, few will cause issues and few not, so we can’t be sure on this. If any application causes issues we need to uninstall it.
Visitor: that is the most retarded thing i’ve ever heard in my life
Sheila: I apologize for the inconvenience but I should inform you that we couldn’t confirm the third party applications certainty for any operating system.
Visitor: so then why is your advertising geared towards it?
Sheila: I understand but all the applications are not faulty or incompatible to the phone few applications causes the issues and I should inform you that this a option to install application from Market which is a Android feature.
Visitor: okay so basically… it’s like this… hey check out this cool phone it does all these cool things but only on tv??
Visitor: i have 1 more question.
Sheila: Sure, please go ahead.
Visitor: is your name really sheila?
Sheila: Yes.
well that was fun… guess my evening is planned… anyways… it’s been pretty busy here today… it’s 11am already and i’ve got a ton of stuff to do… not really feeling like it tho… at least i’m not falling asleep anymore…
a lady just pulled up into the firezone backwards… called the store and asked how much we charge for pants and shirts… then drove away… seems like a waste of gas to do it that way…
it smells like chicken rice-a-roni in here… making me kinda hungry…
it’s so busy today i don’t even have time to write what i want… so i’m just gonna skip to the pictures…
  
the finger is supposed to represent his dick… lol… i love my job
 finally starting to not feel fat…. so i’ll be taking a lot more pictures now!
getting there!!
well happy monday everyone!!

 

Friday, January 20, 2012

Me Love You Long Time

so yesterday i got in the shower and conditioned my hair twice then shampooed it once before i realized it was the wrong stuff… couldn’t for the life of me figure out why it wasn’t lathering the first two times… LOL… retarded…i’ve decided i need a new mattress… mine is way to firm… so if anyone knows where i can get an ultra plush king sized mattress for cheap please let me know…

there’s a cop sitting in the parking lot…. not sure why… maybe he’s anticipating something cool is gonna happen soon… too early for a bank robbery… no one is in the fire zone yet… it’s slightly too early for the crazies… ah well…

is it bad that i sat in the bathroom yesterday for 20 minutes just to avoid having to hear my employee talk?  like took a chair in there any everything… read the news on my phone… kinda sad that i find a giant air compressor pounding in a 8 by 8 foot room more relaxing…

so i’ve noticed something quite disturbing lately… there are a whole lot more people walking around on major highways than there used to be… that’s not the thing that bothers me… what does is for the life of me i cannot figure out why when crossing a busy highway do people walk so fucking slow???  like get a move on it… not only are you holding up my day you’re seriously increasing the chances of getting hit by a car… just because pedestrians have the right of way doesn’t mean you get to lolly gag around and potentially fuck up someone elses life that may or may not hit you… they are already traveling 50mph… and you’re prolly fat anyway so a little elevated heart rate could do you some good.

oooh i almost forgot!!!  to the fucking scumbag in the gray ford fusion that works in the merrill lynch building who was obviously very late for work last thursday morning… shouldn’t you know by now that when the slightest precipitation falls in ocean county the ability for people to operate their motor vehicles in their intended manor diminishes entirely???  there was absolutely no need for you to be doing 80mph down hooper ave when everyone else was doing like 40.  i couldn’t even get out of your way fast enough because unfortunately i was stuck behind all these retards… next time anticipate the wall in front of you and stay off my ass…

got my hairs did yesterday… she said she was mixing some purple with the black… i cannot see it at all… just looks black to me… but it didn’t cost me anything extra so no big deal…

i’m hoping that i get some early morning eye candy today… it should workout because his clothes are still here… i just hope he keeps his mouth shut this time… i used to find this guy so incredibly sexy but all he does is complain when he comes in here lately… and not even about the dry cleaning… about everything else in life… that really makes a hot guy unattractive quick.  but i’d totally still lick his ass…

oh it’s 8am!  time to say good morning a million trillion times to every fucking person who just came in… individually… why can’t one good morning just cover it allllllllll?????  i think i’m gonna put a sign on my back that says good morning so i don’t even have to turn around… sometimes i pretend to be busy to avoid this… i really am kinda a bitch sometimes… in addition… why is it that when people are scheduled to begin work at 8am do they arrive at exactly 8am and then go to the store… and then eat breakfast… and then clean up from breakfast… and then take shit… and then eventually when they get around to it start working… but only after breaking the machine??  i would like to see how much production goes up back there (and pretty much everywhere) if people actually worked at work…

i’m hungry… but i feel like it’s too early to eat… although my trainer says i should be eating more often… i wish i had the ability to make better food choices at work… i need a kitchen here…

omg i’m laughing so hard i could pee right now… mr. fuck me stare just came in here to pick up his stuff which he told me was for after 5 today… but who cares cuz he’s hot as fuck and he can come play stupid any time he wants.. not what’s funny… as i was pretending that i wasn’t sure if his stuff was done or not… i was trying to look as his account in the computer but i accidentally hit the number lock button off and couldn’t get in… so i made a comment to my retardedness… he told me that the other girl told him that when it’s cold the computer freezes… HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA… i know he wasn’t making that shit up because i’ve actually heard her say that before but to me not to the fucking customers!!!  LOL!!!!  i hope he comes back later and that i’m still here so i can gawk at his pretty face…. lol…

okayyyy so it’s friday… it’s 3 minutes to 9am and i’m bored out of my mind… i also forgot my breakfast so i’m like starving… i’m really hoping for a nice easy day today… get out of here at a normal time… go home have my trainer kick my ass a bit… then cook something yummy for dinner… not sure what that’s gonna be yet tho… prolly chickens… i’m starting to not hate chicken as much as i used to…

i keep thinking about the other day when one of my customers came in and told me a gay/racist joke but instead of saying fag and black guy used the names of two of my other customers who fit those descriptions… the joke was funny but doing that just tickled my inners… i’m still laughing about it… i guess it just makes me think that i was totally right about the one dude being gay… if it wasn’t the mojito flavored chapstick i found in his pocket or the male nurse thing… or him not being attracted to me at all then it was definitely 100% confirmed when i asked where he’s been and found out he moved to asbury park… ah well… he’s still pretty sexy even if he doesn’t wanna hit this…

speaking of not wanting to hit this… would it be considered rude to ask a person if they are into dudes because they flinched when i touched their arm and chest ripples the other day?  i’m kinda not sure what to think of that… i was kinda really offended… i’m not gross or anything and i don’t have like evil finger disease… guess i should just write that off too… bummer.

just got a sudden burst of freezing cold air… nick must be here… i swear he lives in a barn… he will leave the doors wide open from the time he gets here til the time he leaves… so rude and costly… cuz i’m just gonna turn the heat on… dammmm it was already on… i guess i’ll just freeze… (my nipples are hard… but it’s too cold to take a picture so you guys can just use your imagination)…

got some customers coming in…

yesterday i accused a customer of ripping his jacket again just so he could come back and see me… that’s logical right?

so i guess this day is starting off well… got an entire rack of work at 915am… i’m sure it’s all saturday tho…

alrighty… it’s 10am… i’m still bored but i found a banana oatmeal bar to snack on… i’ve got this craving for that thing where you melt cheese with salsa and mix it together… i think it’s time for some x-files…

sooooo this guy just came in here… with his elderly mother for fittings… she asked me if it was ok if he ran some errands… i don’t care… he then asked me if i’d like to do the errands and offered me “fi dolla” (think full metal jacket)…. i told him i cost a lot more than “fi dolla” inflation and all… gotta take it from when the movie was set in not the year it was made and all… i’m pretty sure she wanted 15 dollars anyways…  he then offered me 50 dollars… still not enough… and at this point i’m not even sure if the payment is for grocery shopping or sucky sucky…. lol…

well this day just turned into a giant suckfest… my worker called out so i’m stuck here til four… annnnd all the work came back early…. fucking figures… at least i won’t be bored for most of the next four hours… bah!

 

Monday, January 16, 2012

Tit Bit Nippley

and here we goooooo!!!  happy monday everyone!!  it’s fucking freeeeeezing out!!! everyone’s nipples should be hard today!!  i had to pee but i’m pretty sure it’s frozen now too… lol… the giants beat the packers yesterday so we get one more week of giants fans and their diarrhea of the mouth…. it’s kinda okay tho because without a team from this region in contention it can get a little boring… ooh i just remembered i made this video a while ago about how to stay warm!!  Burrrr It’s Cold In Here…  check it check it out…so i was informed this morning that my wonderfully talented and perfectly sane and logical employee spent an entire five minutes looking around our store for a dry cleaning order on a ticket for another store… like she had the other store’s ticket in her hand!! even engaged in the help of another person to look for it… ughhhhh…. with other people waiting… hahahhahahha. it just never stops with this one… it’s really not a hard job…

so as i said in my previous blog i’m super stoked that my blog is getting more followers!! i’ve been getting requests for more pictures of course and while it may not be immediate i always get around to posting what people request!

i took some sudafed early this morning… i’m like flying high right now… i don’t understand why people need illegal drugs.. this stuff makes me feel wonderful!  and it keeps my sinuses clear!  lol…

okay… the pee defrosted and of course i can’t get into the bathroom… always the case… but at least it will be clean when i finally can…

wow an entire 90 minutes has gone by… prolly because i didn’t do any of my normal monday morning work before i started this… lazzzzzy today…

just want to put this out there… i don’t usually care if people unfriend me on facebook… but when you’ve been my friend for a long long time and then all of the sudden just delete me with no explanation it kinda doesn’t sit right with me… so to the 3 or 4 of you… keep in mind that i have pictures of your boy parts on my computer  =)

so i’ve discovered something about myself… i don’t like pancakes.  i like syrup… syrup is delicious… but pancakes are kinda blah… waffles are alright but i’m pretty sure anything covered in syrup would do it for me. like a big dick covered in syrup would be an awesome breakfast… doesn’t even have to be big…

time is just flying today… not really much to complain about so i’ll just get to the picture posting portion of the blog…

this young black guy just came in here to drop off his cleaning… he walked in right before an old man… the old man sits on the bench… after the kid leaves he says… you coulda sold that guy a pair of suspenders… his pants were literally around his mid-thigh area… lol… the old man says i wonder how he keeps them up cuz it’s certainly not gravity… and the only thing i could think of was… his big giant dick keeps them up… lol… my mind is totally in the gutter today… alls i can think about is dick…

well it’s 12pm already and i’d really like to finish this up but customers just keep coming in… i thought it was gonna be dead today since it’s a holiday and all… oh well…

sometimes i really wonder what our customers think.
this is the car that belongs to the worst driver in the world… here is why.  I was behind her today starting on Duquense Blvd in Brick.  She stopped about 7 car lengths before the last car at the light going onto route 70.  Not sure why she did this but since she had all that time i expected her to at least anticipate the light turning green a whole lot sooner than she did.  We almost didn’t make it through the light even though we were the third and fourth cars.  Then she immediately got me again as we rounded the turn… she just couldn’t decide which of the two lanes she wanted to be in.  After straddling the two for half the distance to the next red light she finally picked the left lane. I do not know why.  She proceeded to drive like she was the only person on the road. then guess what!! not only did she not belong in the left lane she needed to actually make a right turn.  but where you ask?  it was hard to figure out because she had her blinker on from the parkway exit light all the way to airport road.  that’s like 4 potential rights.  yet she still didn’t turn… she did, however, go around the u-turn for leisure village… and then it all made sense.
he insisted that i should be his first fan… and that i shoulda shown more cleavage in the pic.  i agree!  elvis cruise baby!!
as requested… some tit pics!
and 1 more… with a strategically placed soap dispenser and it’s reflection… LOL

 

Friday, January 6, 2012

Yay Us!!!

 

Soooooo I’m like totally stoked right now!!!  i just had a guy come in here and tell me how awesome i am for like 20 minutes!!!   he’s one of my customers and in a separate incident found my blog through one of his friends!!!  I’m SOOOOOOO happy right now!!! it’s spreading and i love it!!!  just wanted to thank everyone for reading my blog and passing it along to your friends!!!!  you guys rock!!!   =)  and there is nothing like a mid-morning ego boost!!!

See You Next Year (well this year now)

 

 

 

Monday, December 26, 2011

Got It… Sell It… Still Got It…

Something I will never understand… why is it that when someone hands me a credit card and i hand them a pen do they ALWAYS always ask me if they need to sign something?? like wouldn’t the pen be a pretty solid clue that a signature might be required?  we have a terrible pen shortage around here so i’m certainly not the free pen patrol… are people really that stupid?so i know it’s been a while since i’ve written… i have been soooo freakin busy between work and getting ready for the 3 days of christmas at my house… now that all of that is over with i can get back to what i love… complaining, stating the obvious and posting my naked ass on the internet… a few people have requested that i post pussy pics but i don’t do that… sorry.  i’m hoping to one day have a website for pictures like that and of course much naughtier… don’t worry i’ll keep everyone in the loop…

also contributing to my slacking off of the blogging is the crazy pain i’ve had in my hip and leg for the last week…. i went to the chiropractor twice now and i just can’t get any relief… pain pills aren’t helping either… i’m not even sure what kind of doctor to go to next… so if anyone has any insight or suggestions throw them my way…

the store is so slow today… but it’s the day after christmas and we shouldn’t even be open… everyone else i know has off… totally not fair… i’m trying to get out of here early and get to my computer guy… my laptop battery experienced a complete failure the other day… i got my boss to agree to buy me a new one at whatever price it costs since on saturday i found myself in a best buy trying to get a cheap computer last minute for his wife 1 hour before my guests were supposed to arrive… LOL… ended up getting this awesome samsung for like 300$ just because it was a demo… it’s like a 700$ computer!  score!!  my boss actually thought that the size of the screen on the computer determined the price… he just couldn’t grasp that a 10 inch sony could cost waaaaay more than a 15 inch dell… lol…

looks like i’ve got some customers coming in… i’m not exactly happy about this because of the amount of effort it takes to get up out of this chair… but what hurts the MOST is sitting on the potty… weird… this would be one time i wish i was a boy… the man that just came in had his little girl with him… he was trying to get her to have a conversation with me but she was acting very shy and hiding… that’s really odd… it’s usually the little boys who won’t talk and hide in their parents…

so wil hasn’t said a word to me about my shitty jets team losing to his equally shitty giants team… it’s gotta be brewing in there… gotta be… i even wore blue today to show that i am not a sore loser… but i guess i kinda am a “sore” loser… back pain pun!  LOL… it’s fucking freezing in here!!

alrighty… it’s almost 10am and i’ve got 3 more hours til jessica gets here… she was actually not annoying last week at all… no tears no bullshit… i guess those meds she takes really do work… which is good for me… i’m still trying to find a way to get a third worker here tho… just in case someone is sick or needs time off…

i had to cancel yoga today.. =(   what bothers me the most about this back/hip/ass/leg thing… i’ve been working so hard to stay consistent with my workouts… never canceling even when i feel like shit… just doing it… and i end up so hurt i can’t even move and i have no idea what i even did… at least i can still eat well… i actually feel skinnier than i have in a while… guess it helps to cut out all the crap in my diet…

got some pictures!

went over to danielle and ryans the other day…. ryan made a roast beef vagina for me… over-sized clit included!
and i made a cookie cock and balls to go with!  it didn’t stay together tho  =(
so one of my customers just told me he was “k-mart smart” since he is using one of his buddies to do some emergency plumbing in his house after a bad weekend with the in-laws…  but then we got to discussing what exactly is k-mart smart and how does it relate to things like genius and let’s say “walmart smart”? to aid in this explanation i made this easy to follow chart of smart consumer status. now keep in mind (as brought to my attention from another customer) not all people fit into these categories… i.e. people with super bucks that don’t care how much it costs as long as it gets done quickly and people who have to buy custom thing to fit their bodies.

moving alone… so the other day… i was waiting on a customer and my bf was talking to me from across the store… he said he wanted to open a yum yum yogurt in the empty space… the 90 year old customer at the counter then says… “you know what they should put there?  a whore house”  then continues by explaining how it’s the best business there is becaaaaussseeee…. “you have it, you sell it… you STILL have it!”   i fucking LOVE when old dudes come out with shit like that… lolol….

well the store is way busier now and i’ve gotten nothing done in the last two hours… sooooooo here’s a picture of my ass followed by a front shot!

Merry Christmas!!

 

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Watergate

1.  i found 5$ on the ground while i was walking back from the bank… this surprises me because with the amount of crazies panhandling in the parking lot it’s crazy that i found it.  looks like i’m getting free lunch today!2.  i just called my dentist office to see if the oral surgeon had reviewed my x-ray yet… the first doctor said that i might have to go to a ear nose and throat specialist since my sinus is so close to my tooth hole… the woman on the phone says… “well you come in tomorrow and he (the oral surgeon) goes over it with you”  so i asked her how much that costs… SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS!!!!  “75$ to look at an x-ray and tell me his opinion????”  it’s literally 50 dollar cheaper for me to just make an appointment with an ear nose and throat doctor and have him do the x-ray and tell me his opinion… so yeah…. i canceled that giant fucking rip off…. but not without questioning her about why it wasn’t on the quote they gave me last week… it said… 100$.  i woulda been super pissed if i went there got charged 75$ and didn’t even get the tooth taken out… this kinda makes me want to switch dentists…

3.  yesterday was by far the biggest waste of my life i’ve ever ever experienced…  oh fuck the fire inspector is here… 3. is gonna have to wait til later…. kinda wishing i was wearing something low cut right now…

so that wasn’t so bad… he just wanted the registration fee…

okay back to 3.  yesterday… i come into work and check the money from the night before… i have the girl separate the checks, charges and cash… then total it… the total she wrote down was $147.25 higher than what the printout said… so like… how did we magically get extra cash?  a couple of things could have happened but first i checked the cash, check and charge totals… they were exact… next i start looking through the tickets that were taken in last night to see if she accidentally forgot to mark one paid… everything checked out… next up… check the charge slip to see if someone was charged twice… nope… so maybe she gave out an order to a customer took their money and didn’t take it out of the computer?  this is a little bit harder to figure out since if she didn’t use the computer the computer would have no record of it… so i start printing out inventory lists… i went a month and half back… NOTHING…. i recount the checks, charges and cash again… still the same numbers she was getting… called wil to make sure he didn’t put extra change in the drawer… he didn’t… i’m finally out of options… she comes in and i ask her… may as well talk to the wall… i let it go for a little while to get some other work done… go back to it…. i’m staring at the paper perplexed and it finally hits me… i never added all three together!  i just assumed a 25 year-old college educated person could ADD!!!  so while the checks, charges and cash were all correct the number at the bottom wasn’t… ughhhh….

3.5  “Watergate”  so it’s a little after 1 when she comes in… she goes to the back to get a water but we’re all out… she comes up bitching that there’s no water and they drink it all back there… (they also go to the store and get it 97% of the time)  so i told her to go get water from stop and shop… i give her a 20 dollar bill and tell her to get 3 cases of poland spring… i told her that they were probably not on sale and they should cost about 12 dollar… worst case 15 dollars… 10 minutes goes by and she comes back with the water and announces that she got them for 10 dollars… i was like oh okay they were on sale… til i look in the shopping cart and it’s NOT POLAND SPRING…. i looked at her and said… “that’s not the right water”  she’s like ooooooooooh… i said to her that i know i told her poland spring very specifically and asked her if she has ever ever in the months that she’s worked here had anything other than poland spring water in the back… she looks at me and says… “i knowwww”  you know?? are you fucking kidding me???? this is not hard… so a few hours goes by and i send her back to the store to return the water and get the right kind… 3 cases of poland spring… 25 minutes goes by and she comes running up the sidewalk with a shopping cart with 2 cases of poland spring… she gets in and i’m like where’s the third?  she begins to freak out that she left it down at the stop and shop on the counter… how the FUCK did she push a shopping cart from one end of a strip mall to the other and not notice it was a case of 24 waters short???? she goes running back to get it… comes back in the door and exclaims that it’s her lucky day!!!  apparently she dropped 5$ on the floor when she was leaving and if she didn’t forget the water there she wouldn’t have gotten it back… like it somehow excuses the fact that she literally wasted almost and hour on this fucking water…. never again… ever.

4.  why the fuck do people spit on the fingers to count money and think it’s okay to then hand another person money covered in spit?? that’s so fucking disgusting… every time someone does that to me i wanna spit right back on them… like seriously… gross…

well 45 more minutes of peace and quiet… i already got a bunch of work in today so hopefully the rest will come early and i’ll be able to get the fuck outta here… had about enough of stupid shit….

 

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Thursday Friday Monday Tuesday

I wrote this last thursday… (it’s now tuesday)…Mr. Fuck Me Stare just came in… OMG… we have the dumbest conversations… but his eyes lit up when he saw me! haha! of course like 3 other customers came in right behind him… he did that thing where you pretend you need to organize your money and pocket papers just so you can stick around a little longer… lol… it woulda worked if there wasn’t so many other people… my goodness he’s sexy as hell…

went to the doctor today… paid 25$ for him to tell me “it’s just a hair follicle” and there i was think i needed something frozen off… turns out the sky wasn’t falling… but the ceiling was. right on me too. when he closed the door to the room… “new ceiling tiles” he said… there was dust everywhere… so i don’t have anything wrong with my vagina but i’m gonna get cancer from asbestos… lol…

so the customer with the zipper hole jeans came in again… wearing the jeans again… read my blog from last time to me as he was standing there and finishes with an “‘ello mate!”  LOL… hysterical… this time we listened to a band he knows the dudes of… Scarlet Carson… been listening to them all morning… they are pretty good… so i’m gonna link them to my blog… Like Them On Facebook!

So on friday morning i woke up with THE WORST PAIN EVERRRRRR on the left side of my mouth… i felt like the only option for relief was definitely a sledge hammer and an ice pick… so i made an emergency appointment at my dentist… i know i’ve got a wisdom tooth that needs to come out… i’ve been putting it off for 3 years… it never hurt so i wasn’t gonna have the surgery… well it fucking hurt that day… so i get to the dentist and they take an x-ray… turns out it’s not even the tooth that’s the problem… my maxillary sinus cavity was just full of infection… (that’s the snot cave right about my upper jaw)… anyways… he suggests that i get the tooth removed regardless… made an appointment for the following thursday… he also gave me an antibiotic… so here it is tuesday… all the pain is gone and i can’t for a minute imagine having the tooth pulled for no reason… i kinda wish i was still in pain so i can convince myself to do it… oh did i mention my dentist is way cute… i think i was making him nervous cuz he really could not even concentrate on what he was writing… i do have beautiful teeth tho!  even the on he had to buff down last year when i chipped it on a vibrator.. LOL

okay… so maybe i’ll reschedule the tooth pulling for after christmas… i’ve got too much shit to do and i’m like loaded up on work for thursday… and i could really use a day off… since i already got someone to cover for me i may as well relax for half the day work for like 3 hours then leave early… lol… and as the manager i’m totally gonna do it…

kinda a boring day so far today… nothing like yesterday… crazy busy yesterday…. prolly shoulda stayed a little later than i did but ohhh wellll….

pretty sure that’s enough for now… i’m gonna watch some x-files… hopefully i’ll have some eye candy soon this morning… fingers crossed!!

 

Friday, December 2, 2011

One Hundred And Twenty Hours

yeah so… yesterday i literally had to hold my hands over my eyes to not look at a hole in a customers pants… it was like at the bottom of the zipper… i pointed out the hole and asked him if he was wearing underwear… he insisted that he was… he was letting me listen to a funny prank call he had on his cellphone so i was leaning up against the counter… i kept glancing over at the hole… well maybe more like leering at the hole… i couldn’t stop.. at which point i put my hands over my eyes and continued the conversation… i really wanted something like… the head of his cock to pop out and be like “‘ello mate!”  that woulda been awesome…this girl came in for a fitting yesterday… i told her i would do it for her even tho the tailor wasn’t here… she comes out of the fitting room in this jumpsuit. it had a super low cut in the front and kinda like a turtle neck at the top but all open around her chest and most of her boobs (sexy party in my head)  her boobs look soooo plump and i just wanted to stick my face in them and wiggle around a bit… lol… so i pinned the hem and she tells me she wants a clasp on the boob part so she has the option to wear it open or shut… hehe!! yay for me getting to pin it!!! so i go to stick a pin through but then she decided that i should pin it how she would be wearing it… without a bra… she takes it off… and i was instantly happy that i have a boob job… while they still looked nice and i would definitely still dive in they weren’t as perky or as big as i thought they were… so very glad i’m not gonna have that issue!

this morning my co-worker sent me a text message about jesus and the light… i told him the next time he sends me that i’m responding with porn… and not the good kind… the kind from the fetish section… haha… i don’t have a problem with people who believe and practice religion but i don’t so don’t lay your beliefs on me… it will not be well received… and as far as the porn… if u feel it’s okay to send me things u know i don’t like i will gladly return the favor… which reminds me… yesterday morning a girl came in here and tried to leave me jehovah witness watchtower magazines… like she didn’t go to any other stores but mine… and why would she think i’d let her put those on my counter? i told her the owner wouldn’t allow it… she left and got back into her minivan full of people… then this happened…
we’re not even safe from religion pushers in our cars in the middle of a parking lot…  like… that’s kinda fucked up… and i’ve gotta wonder… does this technique ever work?  like i can’t imagine the success rate of this practice being very high… i assume most people don’t want to respond with rudeness (even tho the practice itself if very high on the shit not to do scale) so they take the magazines. but then what? throw them out! so like… i was thinking… with all the go green stuff… this is terribly wasteful…
a customer just came in to pick up and drop off… he reminded me that the definition of insanity is performing the same action over and over and expecting a different result… he was referring to his wife dropping of her dry cleaning and not paying for it in advance… then he comes to get it and has to pay… lol… sometimes i feel really bad for husbands who are married to shitty inconsiderate women… but then why would i feel bad for a person who by his own definition is “insane”??? lol…
i just got really really hungry… i got some bagel crisps and cream cheese to attend to… finish this a little later…ahhhh the exact moment the Sudafed begins to work and it feels like oxygen is getting to the brain for the first time… lol…. so like 3 hours have gone by…. my employee is gonna be here shortly… so i’ve gotta finish this up tomorrow… ah well…

so it’s now Monday… i can’t believe how time just escapes me…  but it was a good weekend… i got a bunch of Christmas shopping done… i’m broke now so the rest is gonna have to wait til the next paycheck… the Jets beat the Redskins which is AWESOME!! Tiger Woods finally won a tournament… and the Giants LOSE!!! lol… i love that…  last week one of my customers brought me the coolest gift everrrr….

well my phone refuses to connect to my computer so i’m gonna have to email all the pictures i want to post… which will prolly take a freakin day… shoulda brought the proper wire… the store is somewhat steady today too… i really hope i can finish this blog before 1…..

okay so the store is super fucking busy today… and a half hour just went by since the last sentence… i think i’ll be finishing this tomorrow…

i’m not sure what just happened there but everything i just wrote just deleted itself as i was writing it… everything is gone… everything… oh and by the way it’s tuesday…. i’m a little disappointed right now because i feel my first time around thoughts are always the best written… i’m gonna try to get it all back down but it might not be as good as the first time…

so yesterday i was in the worst mood ever… and i’m never in bad moods… everyone felt the wrath of Kristina yesterday…. short fused and irritable would best describe it… plus the brutal honesty… it was bad… come to work this morning to find out that i’m paying two girls to be here so they can sit around and bullshit be less attentive to the customers than just 1 girl and wait til the last minute to hurry up and get stuff done… this will not be happening anymore… i didn’t get the girl a helper so she can play kissy face in the parking lot with her boyfriend, take extra smoke breaks and make mcdonalds runs… she works for 6 freakin hours… that warrants 1 fifteen minute break midway through… no one should need more than that… especially when only about 3 of the six hours she is here requires actual work… the job has a lot of down time… it’s getting intolerable… and considering she’s not improving at all and the customers are annoyed and i’m annoyed i need to make other plans…

okay… i’ve got the proper wire today so let’s see if my phone wants to cooperate…

my boss made me locate a pair of scissors for him so he could cut this out of a magazine and give it to me… he’s nuts….
found this on the counter at lakehurst… it’s pretty funny… and accurate… lol
 a few of people parking badly…
here’s one of me a few mornings ago…
looking at this picture reminded me that i’m out of lotion and i really should go buy some… lol
i took a whole bunch of pictures last week one morning when i was feeling skinny…ish… plus this undies are awesome!!!
 back!
front!
side!
yeah you do!
underneath!! lol… i think this one is kinda cool…

well it took 5 days to finish this blog… it’s almost 1pm and i’ve gotta shut this thing down… i really hope my brain works out this employee scheduling problem soon… wish me luck!

 

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

HARD RESET!!!!!!!

one of my customers just told me that it’s because i’m cute that i’m not getting punched in the face right now… haha… he apparently didn’t enjoy my “shit eating grin” before he even got across the parking lot when i saw him… and he even more didn’t appreciate my uncontrollable laughter while he was inside the store… butttt he needed his suit… i told him he could have just went and bought a new one if he wanted to avoid the embarrassment… he is a Giants fan… LOSERS!!!!  hahahahhahaalso football related… i think i have a crush on Tim Tebow… he’s kinda sexy… i wanna sack that quarterback… (my attempt at football humor)

so like… i have verizon wireless… and it seems to me that every single person who works for verizon technical support is a complete fucking idiot… i don’t understand how someone who knows nothing about cellphones can get a job fixing cellphones in a cellphone store… my phone kept having an error message come up… (google services framework is not responding)  so i go to the verizon store by the home depot in lakewood… this kid starts to help me… he looks at my account… NOT MY PHONE… and says my only options are 1. a hard reset. or 2. send the phone in for warranty.  i assured him that those are not the only options… i informed him that i googled the issue and since more than just me have been complaining about it in the last 3 days there obviously is a known problem.  he looks at me dead serious and says. “you’re not understanding… you only have these two options”  WRONG MOTHER FUCKING THING TO SAY TO ME!!! so i proceed to make him look like a complete fucking idiot by explaining to him that “hard reset” is not the answer to every fucking problem…. oh the screen cracked! HARD RESET… oh i dialed the wrong number HARD RESET… oh i dropped my phone into the toilet while doing lines of cocaine off the tank… HARD RESET!!!!!!  if i catch a disease can i press the HARD RESET button located on the back of my head?????  ughhhh…. like i’m not saying i’m like super important in the world or anything but don’t these people realize how much of a pain in the ass it is to erase the entire contents of your phone re-download all your apps set up all your emails and accounts all over again???? they have got to right? or maybe their phones are excluded from ever having a technical problem… i would like offer some financial business advice to Verizon Wireless Corp… if the only answer you know is HARD RESET why do you employ people in your stores??? like a recording would suffice in every situation… just saying… oh and the problem with my phone was actually resolved by manually syncing my google account again.  wow… how did i find the answer?? google.com put out a response to the complaints… maybe i should get that dudes paycheck this week… they never go outside the box there… the tool in which this company provides, they never use… morons…

so yesterday i kinda learned the hard way that celery seed for burning in my throat doesn’t exactly work the same way as actual celery does… but it was fun to watch my trainer eat some of it and gag too…  aside from the horrible taste and the fact that it got stuck in my throat i think it actually worked… lol… still can’t figure out what i ate that caused the burning in the first place… either muenster cheese or a banana… who knows…

i forgot… scratch that… i was too lazy to think of something to bring to work for lunch today… perhaps i’ll get the lunch roll special from the asian place… i hope they remember my eel sauce this time… every time i call i ask for it… every time i go to pick it up i have to ask for it again… kinda annoying…

well 1 more hour of peace and quiet in here… i think i’ll use it to watch x-files….

 

Friday, November 25, 2011

Boring Ass Day

 

alrighty… i’m  bored… really super insanely bored… i’ve been at work over an hour and haven’t had a single customer… wondered into the radio shack… 4 dudes sitting on the floor equally as bored… gotta work all day tomorrow too… hopefully a little less boring… i debated getting up early and going shopping this morning before work but i’m not waiting in 5 hour long lines to save less than what i make in 5 hours of working…

so i’ve recently discovered how easy it is to watch porn on my cellphone.. this is helpful because masturbating in bed is way better than masturbating at my computer desk… it doesn’t even take that long to download… only problem is now my phone is filled with porn… i’m not usually very big on watching porn but after cruising through the youporn categories i’ve found that i kinda just like to see the penetration part… like my ideal thing to get off to is to see a nice clean shaved cock and balls going into a tight little pussy, also totally shaved… of course the dude has to have a nice body too… the only thing that absolutely disgusts me is when the dude cums in the chick and she pushes it out… yuck….kinda reminds me of like back washed water…  the most important thing i took from this experience is… STAY OUT OF THE FETISH SECTION!!!!  why would someone wanna watch a girl pee??  if anyone has any insight into that i’d like to know…

so yesterday was the typical holiday meal at my house… everyone came over at 2 and left by 5:15… can’t beat that!  had minimal left overs too… i hate throwing food away… i actually didn’t even eat that much yesterday… on top of that i did a fuck ton of sit-ups and pushups last night… i’m really done with feeling like a fat ass lately… and i need to get as skinny as possible before Christmas so i can eat cookies and not feel bad…

i’m finding the mexican music especially annoying today… having a hard time blocking it out… also there is this fucking girl i work with that i still wanna choke… i think she’s actually becoming worse at her job as time goes on… like shouldn’t a person  improve with experience?  i’ve also noticed that she doesn’t comprehend a fucking thing i say… she listens but the concept always escapes her for some reason… the other day… i handed her a belt… told her red tag rush bag… guess where i found myself wednesday night… at lakehurst digging through piles of clothes and empty bags looking for this belt… after two hours of insanity… i called her and asked her to look through the work that hadn’t made it over yet… she calls me back 30 seconds later ecstatic that she found the belt on top of the first bag she opened like it was fucking victory… like actually thought she was doing a good job and deserved praise for find something SHE PUT IN THE WRONG FUCKING PLACE!!!! this job is seriously not fucking hard… why can’t i find a person who isn’t semi-retarded???

i just went to check to make sure the open sign is on… it is… still no customers… i hope it’s not one of those days where i get slammed right as i want to leave for the night… i have a very important yoga appointment to get to a 6…

i need to find a way of getting more followers… i was thinking about posting the link to this blog on craigslist… i’m gonna do it… i can totally handle a few weirdo stalkers… it will give the security guards something to do…

so something really odd happened the other day at the gym… there are about 12 elliptical machines in a row with a pillar separating them into 8 and 4…. when i got there there was 1 man two over from the left of pillar… i went to the small side and took the 3rd from the right of the pillar… 10 minutes go by and there are still 10 empty machines… this couple comes and gets on the two machines to my left… like why didn’t the go to the far side where no one was??? weird… then a few minutes after that another dude came over and went to the right of me… the other 7 machines on the other side were still unoccupied… super annoying… i debated moving over the empty section but i didn’t want to seem like a bitch… don’t these people know proper gym etiquette??? guess not… staying there, however, provided me with an excellent view of this dude who was wearing the same workout pants as me… and his junk was totally completely showing.. he had glasses and hitler mustache… he got on the row machine and pulled on the handle so hard i thought it was gonna break off and hit me in the face… kinda like the amount of force you would use to start a stubborn lawn mower… grunting the entire time… all 10 reps… he made his way to one of those back machines where the arms pull down but they are separate… BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!!!! letting the metal hit the top every single time… i was cracking up at this point… absolutely hysterical… the people next to me didn’t even notice… dudes like that should be banned from the gym…. i wanted to take a picture but i was surrounded… i’m sure given his strenuous methods he will back sometime next week for me to laugh at some more…

i’ve got a new obsession… with sneakers… ugly ugly sneakers… i go to the neptune outlets every sunday and try to find the most hideous clearance sneakers possible and i get them… on monday i wore “day glow” orange high tops with black skinny jeans… today i have a pair of blue suede sneakers on… since it’s impossible for me to fit cute shoes into my life i’ve accepted that and found another way to stand out from the crowd… so if anyone has any tip on where to find ugly sneakers or wants to buy my some ugly sneakers it would be appreciated… =)

someone just came in but not a customer… bummer… it’s now been almost 2 hours… another woman just came in but she left pissed off because she can’t read her ticket that says after 5… don’t get mad at me for your inability to read… so it’s 9:13am and still no actual customers… i have to pee again too… i could prolly get someone to pay me to watch according to the internet… gross… lol…

finally got my first customer.. mrs. rubens… ugh… “i need these slacks trousers pants for saturday” “you mean tomorrow?” “yeah thank you, thanks, thank you…” “no problem” “thanks, thanks again”  over thankers annoy me… her son is the same way… you don’t need to thank me so much for doing my job… it’s annoying…

and now for some photos of people parking badly…

 

 

 

 

 

hehe… this always keeps me entertained… this parking lot is wonderful!  lol

so i just went through my phone looking for a titty picture to post on here… i haven’t even taken any new ones lately… sooooo in a little while i’m gonna go into the bathroom and see what i can come up with!! gonna watch some netflix for now tho!

 

those are some nice lookin titties!  lolthis woman just came in here to drop off some clothes… i go to hand her her change but instead of putting her hand out to take it she puts her hand out to show me her ring… it was nice but really i don’t give a fuck… then she takes a necklace out of her turtle neck to show me (even tho i didn’t ask) and she tells me that it was used on the young and the restless… they borrowed it from her… then she puffed some weird smoke in my face from some sorta device… i hope it wasn’t an airborne bio-toxin… haha…

well dipshit should be here soon so i’ve gotta put the computer away… (or else she will feel as if she’s entitled to use one during work as well)… 4 more hours of hell to go!!

A Few Quick Thoughts… And 1 Not So Quick…

i have got this really bad habit of looking at guys crotches when they are wearing sweatpants… i catch myself doing it all the time… it’s like they are begging to get stared out… so it’s not my fault… i just like to see the outline their cock makes… especially in light gray pants…i’ve been reading a lot of articles lately where townships are actually blaming the road for all of the accidents that have been happening… lack of medians… curves… 1 lane… small shoulders… why can’t they just come out with a study that says…  if you PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE YOU NAVIGATE YOUR 2 TON MOTORIZED PIECE OF METAL perhaps you won’t get in an accident!!!!!  ????? like seriously?? it’s not my fault that i hit this dude head on and killed him because there was no piece of cement in the middle saying i can’t?? this society disgusts me for it’s lack of personal responsibility… put your fucking cell phones down and look at the road… beyond that… any person who lets their dog roam free in their car while driving should be shot in the fucking head… dogs are even more of distraction than phones because you can’t control what they are gonna do next… i read an article the other day that said a 90 year old manchester man was missing… the man has dementia and can’t live alone BUT HE CAN GET IN HIS FUCKING CAR AND DRIVE!!!! and then the world is supposed to stop because the adults in charge of him don’t have the balls to take this guys keys and car away???  get bent.

i might have been wrong about my theory on girls not farting… either that or my co-worker is not a girl… because alls she was talking about today was how gassy she was and how she had to go outside because she didn’t want to rip ass in the store… i’m gonna go with the “not a girl” theory since girls definitely don’t fart.  gross.

on thursday my doctor told me i have a perfect balloon knot… hehe… yeah i do… this was after he drew a diagram of my girl parts on a form in my file… it was obviously not to scale because my asshole was gaping… very very inaccurate… lol…

Thursday, November 3, 2011

A True Professional

so… i’ve decided it’s not my ability to remain calm and control the situation when an unhappy customer comes in screaming and complaining that makes me a good manager… but controlling my urge to crack up hysterically when a 20 something year old girl and her boyfriend come in and tell me that her sweater is covered in dingleberries and she would like to know if i could get them off for her that sets me aside from most.  i’m cracking up right now as i’m typing this… my eyes are watering… do u correct a person when they accidentally confuse pills or even balls of fuzz with left over toilet paper stuck to your ass? lmao…so Halloween was way much fun!  dressed up for work all day… the old ladies LOVED my costume… and the old men too… and pretty much everyone… missed out on going to the parade thanks to a pounding headache but at least i got to give out some candy… which brings me to my next point… in the 3 hours i was home for i got about 20 kids at my door…. that’s such bullshit… i remember when i was a kid we would go around the neighborhood for hours in giant groups… hundreds of kids… like people would actually run out of candy… i coulda given them half a bag each and still had some left over… and how fucking lazy are parents these days… like yeah i get that you wanna watch your child cause if you don’t they absolutely will get abducted and molested by a sex offender but instead of following them at 2 mph in your minivan on the wrong side of the road… park your fucking car and get your ass out and walk with them… i’m sure you could stand to lose a few pounds if you’re lazy enough to think this is a good idea… it’s just not like it used to be… people say that there are more messed up people you have to protect your kid from… there’s not more of them… there is just a system which allows us to know where they are…  i posted the pictures of my costume on my facebook page… Imma Bee… lol

so it’s 8am and i haven’t gotten a single customer yet… i’m kinda bored and i’m debating trying to get this nexflix dvd to work or just cutting my loss and put it in the mailbox so it gets out today… but the mailbox is sooo far away and it’s cold out… ooh a customer… yay!!

it’s not very often that i wanna call out of work and lay in bed all day but today is definitely one of those days… can’t seem to wake up… sinuses are clogged… feel like crap…. but i guess i have no choice since there is no one for me to call out to… such bullshit… lol… well that’s all i’ve got for now… time for some x-files and a yogurt…

so like… it’s now the next day… somewhere around 9am yesterday i got this crazy fever body ache stomach ache thing and forced myself to leave work at 12… stayed on my couch til like 11am today… still feel like garbage…

i just watched this lady who is a semi-regular customer let her feeble crippled husband wobble in here from the middle of the parking lot dropping his clothes off his walker… i went outside and picked them up for him while she sat in the car… this lady annoys the shit out of me normally… she’s a reverend at her church… she was lecturing me about god one day and actually pronounced immaculate “immacoooolate”… so like yeah… that annoyed me but this just disgusted me… i love how people think they are all high and mighty but then do outright fucked up shit… can’t have it both ways…

i just ate a garlic knot… it was delicious but now the entire store reeks… reeks sooo goood…. mmmmm

i could let jessica go home early today since she did work alone yesterday from 12 to 7 but then she would lose the extra hour she gained yesterday and that’s just shitty… not that it hasn’t been happening to me lately… last week i lost like 100$ because my hours at lakehurst got taken away from me… i’m reallllly really trying not to be mad about that… gotta find another way to make extra money… not dancing tho because apparently i’m still not allowed to work at delilahs… i heard it sucks there lately anyway… not that i’ve ever had a problem making money…

i really hope all the green shit from the garlic knots got out of my teeth cuz this customer was totally just flirting with me… well… i think he was flirting with me… although it was mostly banter about how his football team is superior and how he hates all jets fans solely because they are jets fans… i assured him there are plenty more reasons he can find to hate me…

i feel like an asshole sitting here blogging while she does all the work… NOTTTT!!!  lol…but for realz… i should get back to work…

Friday, October 28, 2011

Not Sure What I’m Quitting But I Quit

so the last 14 hours have been a wonderful mixture of emotions and such…so last night it’s getting closer to 7pm and i’m about to leave work… there was this weird dude that kept walking back and forth passed my store… and a customer earlier said the guy musta been one of the crazies from across the street cuz of the way he was just lingering around… he wasn’t a disheveled mess tho… but he was still acting really weird… so i’m like okay great i parked my car around the building today and i really hope this guy doesn’t like come after me… so i open the door to leave and he’s like.. “oh i just wanted to make sure you got out safely and that none of the creepers bothered you” perhaps maybe the security guards here should start dressing differently so we know they are security… or perhaps maybe like come in the store and let me know who they are instead of making me anxious as they wait outside… just a thought…

i’m super stoked that i found the costume i wanted!!!  and while i was trying it on in store i was totally screwing with this man who was waiting for his wife to try stuff on… i forgot to close the fitting room curtain all the way when i got changed… i watched him watch me in the mirror… then i came out in the totally slutty costume to look at it again in the bigger mirror… i asked him his opinion… haha!  then got changed again with the curtain not all the way closed… kinda cruel but definitely waaaay funny for me…

after waiting for like 15 minutes in line to pay for the costume the kid at the counter gave me 20% off “because you’re hot”  ego boost!!  i told him i loved him and gave him the address to my blog as a thank you… so cashier number 3095539  i hope you are over 18 because i totally didn’t even think of that til i got home and felt like a potential child endangerer…

got home and tried my costume on and it’s sooo freakin cute!  this is how i’m gonna wear it to work… can’t be having tits and ass hanging out all over….

pictures of how it’s actually supposed to be worn will be taken at a later time  =)

so there i was thinking i’m having an awesome morning… nothing really bothering me… no dry cleaning emergencies.. excited about halloween and having the morning off to get things done tomorrow when my bf calls me to tell me his car broke down… TOTAL BUMMER!!! so he comes to get my car… now i have no freedom… who the hell knows what’s wrong with the explorer… he asks me to see if i can get it towed… (too bad it’s not the middle of the night on a deserted road) why the fuck would you ask me to get something done (which i totally did… within a reasonable time frame for a reasonable price) and then without even telling me go and get it done yourself? i hate that shit… looking like an asshole was not on my list of things to do today… so… mr. tow truck guy (who i was told had to be woken up) sorrrrrrrryyyyyy, i owe ya…

so i could barely process that when mr. fuck me stare came in to drop off some stuff… i haven’t seen him in FOREVERRRRRR!! and he was alone today… totally hot… and we were soooo doing that staring and exchanging of stupid comments thing… i showed him the picture of my costume… he commented on the weather and how it’s supposed to snow on sunday… i explained to him how that was impossible because it’s only october… he agreed… and then i said if it snows i quit… not sure what i was quitting but i quit…

now that i’m thinking about it i’m kinda bummed that i don’t have a car… i was doing so good with this going to the gym thing… it’s kinda okay for tonight tho because my trainer is coming over… i really hope i make it home in time…

some guy just called to ask me the status on his coat… like something has changed since the last time he called and couldn’t pay for it… why would you drop your shit off at the cleaners if you cannot pay for it????  and he just called me back again 15 minutes later to make sure i wasn’t gonna give his coat away…. my goodness!  NO ONE WANTS YOUR COAT!!!  lol… except you… so get the 45$ and come pick that shit up… lol

feeling kinda lazy today… the store is slightly busier than i would like it to be right now… i guess it’s just payback for all of the fucking off i did last night… seriously… from like 5 to 6 pm alls i did was bullshit with a couple customers… who i happen to know from like 1997… lol… i’ve got this incredibly crazy memory… i remember everyone and everything… i should find a way to make money off that…

oooh look another idiot who can’t park in the lines…

 next up… two fire zone parkateers…
and finally… i was thinking about getting t-shirts made… just to make people feel extra stupid and lazy…
theeeeee enddddddd!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Just As Twisted As A Balloon Knot

“i’m talking about my asshole”  such a stupid stupid movie but that part just stays with me for some reason…the crazies are out in record numbers tonight… even the dude i called the cops on the other day is back doing the same shit he was the other night… sometimes i wish that place would implode… just eat itself… or something…

i’ve been kinda bored in my mind lately… i think i need a hobby or something… or maybe more friends…

so like… i’m holding off on tinting my car windows…. i really want to do it but a couple of things are standing in my way right now… 1.  i gotta fix the tie rod end or some shit and that’s prolly more important… 2.  one of the back windows broke and i’m not sure if it needs to function in order to apply tint… and 3. (and most importantly) the dude who was gonna do it won’t return my texts and i prolly don’t give a fuck enough to look up the phone number and call the store…

holy shit… like an entire week has gone by since i started this blog… i have been SO FREAKIN BUSY at work… i actually left my computer at the repair place for an entire week and thought nothing of it… it’s actually not even hooked up yet in my house either… did the same thing with a cable box on saturday… sometime i think i would actually be okay with out all the electronics and 200 dollar cable bills… but then i’m like duhh. of course i need every freakin channel they make…

been focusing on working out a lot again… made it to the gym like 3 days in a row so far!!! this is awesome!!  i’ve completely altered my diet as well… no more mcdonalds i even made myself a reminder sign and hung it up…

it’s actually working!!  no more cookies no more french fries and i’ve switched ice cream at night for cottage cheese and fruit… also i’m forcing myself to like chicken since i gave up red meat…  i feel great but i’m not losing any fucking weight!!! i don’t get it!!  LOL

the mexicans are listening to weird covers of lady gaga songs right now… but at least they are in english…

i’m finding myself having to deal with something completely new to me… my employee is a fucking mental case and i don’t know how to navigate her… like she does this thing where she thinks everyone is talking about her and for the first time ever i’ve had to use the phrase “this is not your conversation” or “this is not a discussion” or “please just drop it”  she always thinks she’s getting fired which she is not… she meets the requirements to work here… (shows up and doesn’t steal) …. but like… she was like crying yesterday when i told her some things she needs to start doing differently… i can’t deal with that shit… normally i’d tell a person like this to toughen up but in this case i’m sure it will backfire… i don’t understand how a person can say they have no self-esteem but hold them self in such high regard that she actually believes everything is about her and everyone is always discussing her… sounds like polar opposites to me… it’s frustrating… i keep myself at a distance but i really need some advice on this one… i like the girl… she’s a good worker and she’s good intentioned but like… i don’t get bipolar… she’s the perfect example of why battered women’s shelters exist… she like is over defensive and can’t catch on to other people’s emotion… she just doesn’t know when to shut up… help!!!!

i think i totally just creeped this guy out… new customer comes in… his shirt has his name on it…i recognized him immediately as a guy that used to date my sister… i haven’t seen him in 14 years but he looked exactly the same… i asked him his phone number and told him i assumed his lasted name according to his shirt… he made a joke about how perceptive i am… then i said let me guess your first name… and i did… but he didn’t know that i already knew him… he looked shocked… it was funny… (prolly really fucked up from his view) but i’m not looking to impress anyone… of course i let him know how i knew him…

“we might’ve fucked not really sure don’t quite recall”  greatest line from a song ever…  lol….

so like…. i’ve got a great idea for a porn… in popped into my head the other day when i was scared my car was gonna break while i was driving… wouldn’t it be hot if like a call comes into a tow truck company in the middle of night from a woman whose car was broken down on the side of a deserted road (or maybe super busy road, doesn’t matter)… and like when the guy shows up she’s inside the back seat of the car laying down masturbating… he knocks on the window… she rolls it down and he asks her “were you the one who called for service” or something porn corny like that… and she’s like “oh yeah i need to be serviced” and then he’s like “oh well it looks like your (insert car part that could sound like body part here) needs to be lubed” and then he pulls out a tube of lube and squeezes it all over her pussy… explaining to her how it’s important to make sure these parts stay nice and slick to work properly… sliding his fingers in and out of her… then she unzips his coveralls  (they are most likely blue in color) and he’s not wearing anything under them… his cock is just pulsing in there… she gets the zipper all the way down and guides his throbbing dick into her mouth… takes it in as far as she can before she gags on it a little… he pulls it out of her mouth and smacks her face with it… she loves it and takes the opportunity to put his balls in her mouth and really get her face up in there… then she grabs onto the shaft of his dick with her hand and strokes it while flicking her tongue back and forth over the head… before he can even react she put the head in her mouth and sucks with crazy pressure… he’s about to explode all over but he holds back… he must have her juicy pussy on his face… he sits her up against the door and spreads her legs… she’s got one on his shoulder and the other over the top of the front head rest… he teases her a bit by licking her inner thighs… she won’t stand for that tho… she grabs his head and shoves his face on to her… he sucks on her clit so hard she starts thrust herself closer to him… he sticks a finger inside of her and within a few seconds she explodes… there is pussy juicy everywhere… as she’s laying there still in a daze he grabs his cock and jerks off until he cums all over her tits… she runs her fingers through it and licks them clean… he puts his clothes back on and leaves her laying there in the backseat… he drives away only to discover the actual broken down car a few hundred feet more up the road… the end…

so i’ve got these pics from a photo shoot a few months ago… kinda missing the pink hair… kinda…

holy crap it’s been an hour and like photoshop has only exported 53%  that is nuts… i’ll fill the void with a conversation i just had with a person about douche bags and their effect on the environment.

me:  it’s just been so busy here lately… hard to take the time to appreciate a real douche bag

him: i mean who doesnt appreciate a solid douche bag.

me:  everyone loves them… it’s what keeps the earth in rotation

him:  i believe it has some sort of effect on the tides and gravitational pull when a douche bag stops being a douche bag

me:  i would tend to agree with that logic… not only is it highly unlikely but it causes tsunamis when it does…

him: its tragic, but japan suffered the most from the last douche bag

me: lol… they sure did… he musta been like a category 5 offender… maybe he liked saved a bunch of puppies on a burning bus or something to cause that much destruction

him: its quite possible, i feel that they should register with police dept’s due to there quarky tendencies and lack of consistency, ud think…once a douche always a douche…not the case.

me:  there should also be some sort of warning system to alert the public… somewhat similar to the reverse 911 system but with a much quicker response time… perhaps maybe even the deployment of storm troopers

him: and like a tornado whistle…something that shakes houses?

me: of course… it would be like the siren they have for nuclear plants in a radiation emergency… but much more annoying of a sound… like that vuvuzela thing from the soccer games

him: hahahaha…i hate that thing, i would be completely alarmed if i heard that at 2am.

and that explains it all… no god… no global warming… no mother nature… no apocalypse… no fate… no karma… (well maybe club karma)  douche bags are the reason the world will just stop existing one day…

well it’s now 11:33 and i’ve gotten no work done and my pictures still have 16 more percents to go before i can start to go through them… i’ll take a break for now and come back laterz…

as it turns out… later is the next day… let’s get down to business…

Saturday, October 8, 2011

There I Go Again

friend requesting good looking customers after they come into my store… lol… i predict this behavior will get me in trouble one day but until then… i don’t give a fuck… I’ll prolly not even give a fuck if i do get in trouble either…this week super sucked for the most part… worked way too much i think… 59 hours… i think there was just too much drama amongst my coworkers… i wish they could just get along… (not gonna happen)

anyways… the following two pictures were taking this morning on my way to work… i drove from Hooper Ave and 571 all the way to route 70 and 571 behind these two..

. and this is what came next… you know the rule is keep right pass left not stay in the left lane stupid mother fucking douche bag holding up everybody else’s day as you drove right next to the car in the right lane. I’m not sure what driving school you went to but you deserve to die and so does the person who taught you how to drive like a dick. like someone should fucking pluck your car off the road with a giant magnet and throw you into a landfill………. as for right lane guy…. i wonder if he realized he pretty much drove in this dudes blind spot for 5 (FIVE) miles… i wish left lane dick tried to get out of my way and took your shitty little Kia out of this planet with him.  like seriously??? why wouldn’t you just move over if you’re gonna do the same speed?  of course i got up close behind both of these assholes and neither one of them would budge… I’d say it was a conspiracy to piss me off but they both went in separate directions at route 70… (thankfully not in mine)….

here’s a closer pic of the license plates so if anyone knows or sees these people they can direct them to this blog (click the pic… it grows)

so on Thursday morning i ordered a replacement phone from Verizon…  the guy asked me what shipping i wanted… i said the free 2 to 5 business day one is fine because my phone is functional just a little bothersome with the weird ass colors on the screen…. he also shipped to me a free pack of screen protectors since they aren’t reusable… so like less than 24 hours later a FedEx express over night package shows up at my job… NOT THE PHONE… they actually shipped the screen protector more urgently than the phone… does not make sense… lol… the phone arrived today with the regular mail… smart… real smart…

i’ve got some banging ass meat sauce defrosting on my counter right now… i hope it thaws out quickly because i really need to stop snacking on candy corn and rib flavored potato chips and cheese and ice cream… also i’m really terribly upsettened that i left half of my giant pancake at lakehurst this morning and that jim forgot to tell nick to take it over to me and that he ended up throwing it out… =(  i posted the pic on facebook this morning but it’s just so beautiful that i have to post it again…

sooo pretty…

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

If I Never See Your Face Again

So… i’m not sure what changed in my brain lately but i’ve found myself indifferent to some situations that would normally bother me…like… how do you go from i can’t wait to see someone to i hope i don’t have to see this person without a middle stage?  there’s like 4 people i feel that way about right now… so freakin weird… like they didn’t do anything to me and there was no falling out… i just don’t give a fuck… this concerns me cuz like… i used to care a lot about these things…  maybe i’m just more perceptive of toxic people than i used to be… who knows…

i’m starting to lose all that weight i gained from the meds i was on so i’ll be back to picture taking very soon… i know someone asked for a sexy strip tease video and that’s next on my project list!

i’m supposed to workout with my trainer tonight… hopefully he won’t make me feel like shit this time… last week he told me i wasn’t sexy anymore and that he wouldn’t fuck me looking like i do… i’ve consulted others about this and they think he’s just fucking nuts… or jealous of something… i’m sure there are plenty of good looking nicely shaped boys that would love to tear into this! lol.

 i took this picture after watching zack and miri make a porno… granny panties!
and this one i titled “kinda fat”
someone just told me “that’s my goal in life… to fuck Kristina”  so i guess i’m not that repulsive… lol

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Randomness

i totally started this blog two days ago and never got the chance to finish it…. ah well… i’ll just post it as is…

please do not come in my store and make me pick apart orders of clothes because you cannot afford to pay for them all then follow it up with a story about how you’re GOING ON VACATION TO FLORIDA FOR A WEEK…. stupid stupid people… then the same dude asks me when i’m getting married… you don’t know me! you are not entitled to ask me shit like that… i told him i don’t want to get married because i think marriage is stupid… he says why would you say that about such a sacred ceremony shit… i said “maybe because this country has basically made a mockery of “marriage” over the last couple decades eh?”  yeah he totally agreed at that point… you will not win old man…

this morning while driving to work… route 70 from brick to toms river…. this douche bag was up my ass the entire time… we got every light red but he still thought that by riding my ass i would speed up to stop at the red lights… not happening… of course at his first semi-safe opportunity he did one of those come up as far as possible behind me to pass me only to have to slam on his breaks to stop for yet another RED LIGHT!  and he wasn’t even first in line… like sometime i want to get out of my car knock on their window and be like… why??? like what does that do for you? i do not understand.

i’m hoping to get out of work at a decent time today… but i just remembered it’s friday and i’m sure something will make this a giant suckfest… had a bunch of visitors yesterday… my favorite was the first girl i ever hooked up with… i walked by her in the pizzaria and didn’t recognize her… she then came in to my job and i figured out who she was… but what she said to me just blew my mind… “the girl who had her fingers in your pussy”  mmmm yeah she did… lol  fun times… but that was like almost 12 years ago… why was it easier for me to get girls back then???

i’m happy to report that i’m feeling much better than i have been feeling… the entire month of september was horrible for me… but my new doctor straightened that shit out!

so yesterday nick the dick told jim that i threw away 20 pieces of plastic just so i could start a new roll…he told jim he watched me do it… this was a total lie… and i’m gonna confront him about it… and try to get it on video… got the video but wil interfered… fail… ah well… he’s been “ratting me out” a lot lately… except nothing he tells jim jim doesn’t know about…

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