The Past Part 1

Monday, October 22, 2012

Mission Impossible

Well everyone… my account last precisely 1 hour and 30 minutes which was the amount of time it took to upload a 9 minute video and immediately flag it and terminate my account… haha… back to the drawing board… who would have thought it would be so impossible to put my antics out there… I’m also not sure what the difference was between my previous videos and the last one other than the content… I did it the same way everytime.  I’m gonna be exploring another option this afternoon… fingers crossed! Thanks for sticking it out with me!

Friday, October 19, 2012

Sorry To Keep You Waiting

My video got flagged… that’s a bummer… so before I post anymore… does anyone know any ways that I could safely post them? Maybe a way to post a link instead of uploading it directly… I’m not very internet savvy but I know youtube is not an option.  I’m also not really sure how those youporn or redtube sites work either so if anyone can help me out I’m sure it will benefit us all greatly!

So I’m almost through the busy season at work..  I’m so glad about that because I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown… I’m really just sick of being surrounded by stupid idiots… like why can’t people just take pride in their job?  I feel like a broken record with the amount of times I have to say the same thing over and over… I’m also feeling under paid under appreciated and just plain disrespected… I know blah blah blah… but it’s my blog and I’ll bitch if I want to!

Enough of that shit… I’m writing this blog on my phone because it’s portable and I’m laying in bed right now… I’ve got so many awesome ideas in my head that I want to share with everyone and I know I’ve been slacking lately… so here’s one for the person who wanted a picture of my underwears pulled tight against my girl parts!

Enjoy and be patient with me I’m a busy girl!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

My First Hater!!

Whoop! Whoop!  although this seems like a weird thing to be happy about, i’m absolutely stoked!! like… i feel like my blog is getting more exposure than just the people i know right now!!  yay!!

i wanna start off by saying i LOVE my followers to death!! and thanks so much for all the nice comments. it really makes me feel good when people compliment me so nicely. not just about my pictures but about the things i write about and how i write them.

this comment was my first not nice one.

Cutest lil nipples ha ha ha yea rite all you need is some syrup for those pancakes and a fat boy would be filled all week and not to be mean but your outfit is ugly don’t you make good money I can tell you don’t have style but u can hire someone to pick out your cloths! And I will never know why my seventeen yr old step son looks at this page it’s all complaining and the only skin you show are those balloons and by the time you get to my age no one is going to want to see them so do your self a favor and get a caree bc selling your ass isn’t going to have a ss check at the end when your All dried up

i’ve decided to respond to this because this person (who doesn’t like what i do) seems to dedicate time to me. i think it’s fair that i dedicate some time back. in a purely factual way, of course.

1. i will refer to you as anonymous seeing as you don’t want to put yourself out there in the manor i do. i’m also not sure if you are male or female. probably female since you bash me. there’s not a man in the world that would spend this much effort on someone who does not matter to them.
2. i agree. i do not have little nips. but i wouldn’t exactly classify my boobs as pancakes. that would require them to be flat. (like a pancake). however, i’m sure plenty of people would enjoy licking syrup off them for a week regardless of their shape.
3. if you need to start a sentence with “not to be mean” you’re kinda contradicting yourself right off the bat. it’s okay that you don’t like my outfit… if we all dressed the same the world would be boring.
4. i seriously doubt it would be financially responsible to hire a stylist on a dry cleaners salary. i think you think i’m a dancer or into porn of some sort. i am not.
5. are you sure it’s your step-son and not your husband? either way they both are welcomed on my blog.
6. i suppose you can say i complain a lot but it’s about real life situations that people can relate to.  i prefer to call them rants that other people can identify with. everyone needs someone sometimes right? i’m all about making people feel like they are part of something.
7. balloons? i thought they were pancakes? stay consistent here, you’re send mixed signals. also, yes! you are right i mostly just show my boobs. i’m not sure if you’re complaining that i’m not showing more or try to insult me for showing them at all? please be more specific.
8. i’m not sure what your age is but by the time i get there i’ll have had my boobs replaced with new ones and they will be looking just as chipper as they do now. enhancing my body for my benefit has never been an issue for me. showing it off is something i do because i can for now. i’m not disillusioned and ignorant to the fact that looks don’t last forever. i do believe if you got it, flaunt it! selling my ass has never been an option for me and if you didn’t notice my blog is free.
9. i have a career. been at it for 12 years now. this is something i do for fun. also, did you know that adult entertainment is and has always been the largest most profitable industry in the world?
10. i’m not sure if you watched the presidential debate last night but what i got from it is social security and medicare as we know it will be a thing of the past by the time i get to retirement. i plan on retiring with the money i make off of rental properties and other financial investments. but i do know how much easier it would be to live off what the government thinks is best for me, i choose not to.
11. “when your all dried up” should actually be “when you’re all dried up.” and when i am all dried up i can look back on my life and be happy that i did the things i wanted to do with the time i had when i was young and more moist.

anywho…  so i wasn’t able to get the car i wanted. the reason why was absolutely absurd. apparently, even tho i did a bankruptcy over a year ago some company was still reporting negatively to my credit report. so if anyone knows how i would go about fixing something like this i could use the guidance.

i know i say this a lot but work has been super busy lately. definitely not complaining about that… especially in this economy. it would be nice to be able to take a day or two off tho.

today i’m going to post the bathtub pictures request!

  Read. Love. Share!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

No Shoes No Shirt

But ya still get service(d)… haha… for some reason i haven’t had a problem asking dudes to be shirtless for the sake of being shirtless lately… in fact… i’m up to three in as many days… unfortunately for me it’s prolly the worst places ever… either way… there’s nothing like gazing in some hypnotic state from afar at really sexy man muscles… especially when those come fuck me lines just draw my eyes down to happy town… i’m pretty sure that’s actually why there are mirrors on the gym walls… it’s definitely so the people on the cardio equipment can have a view from both sides…. sure does pass the time… passes the time later, too, when i have some nice things to masturbate to. i really do spend endless amounts of time wondering what a guy’s cock looks like… haha

i’m feeling like i sold myself short yesterday… i surprised myself a little bit with my restraint. unneeded and in hindsight totally unnecessary… i’m not sure what it was…. all the elements were there… motive, opportunity, means, privacy, willing conspirators… next time… next time… save myself the 80 bucks too. perhaps i needed a little push… or a command. like i knowww but like i really needed to be sure…

so i went to atlantic city last week… got a nice room at harrahs for wednesday and thursday nights… wednesday night i chatted it up with a guy that was down there… it was nice to have an intelligent conversation without it turning into an all out debate… i think it’s funny to watch people react to the fact that i put half naked pictures on the internet… it’s like they never believe me, i show them and they’re like OMG that’s you??!!!  also the cupcakes at bill’s burger bar are to die for… red velvet cake with this fudge injected into the middle then cream cheese icing and the whole top is covered in the most delicious sprinkles ever!! the burgers were good too. but mostly the cupcake.

met two more dudes at the bar for dinner the next night… one was a software programmer… he explained to me why everyone’s iphone sucks ass when it comes to watching my videos… apparently google and apple had a little disagreement and google doesn’t allow apple to use their shit anymore… kinda a bummer…

well gotta get ready for work! finish this a bit later…

okay… for some reason it’s been pretty quiet in here today… monday and tuesday were nuts… damn jewish holidays… anyways… i’ve got some pictures!

4 out of 5 mornings i share the road with the guy… he lives a little bit before me and drives further down 70 than i do… he also drives like a complete fucking douche bag and it’s taken me months to get a picture of him at a stop. 80mph down 70 when everyone else is doing 60 is not okay!
took my parking spot. and the one in front of it. drove around the building and did the same thing again… then…
this van drove into the front of him… haha…
 Spell Check next time… jussst sayingggg….
 so… after many many phone calls to complain about how unthorough my cleaning company is… i talked to the girl that was cleaning my house while she was standing in my house saying she saw exactly what i was talking about… guess who was cleaning her own showers at 830pm?
for real… thought she was gonna go straight.. or left. ughh.
lady comes in and tells me she thinks she better move her car cuz it’s in the middle of the road…
 literally went outside and parked it “better” illegally.
 reading a book… while parked in the middle of the road… then her kid got in and didn’t buckle up…
 found this on my car. DON’T TOUCH THE PIMP MOBILE!!!
everyone else spends thousands of dollars to be a platinum member and get free parking… i just gave a bottle of water to an elderly degenerate in front of the right person.
 not incentive enough apparently…
 Love this outfit!!
It would look hotter on the floor… haha
 “i didn’t know i parked bad because i’m on my phone”
 “are you guys hiring?” “you can take an app.” “okay let me finish my cigarette and then talk to this guy i don’t know in the middle of the road and then forget who i am” didn’t even write her first name on the app…
 Drug deals…
 must have been drunk… if not… got license from cracker jack box

Let the chaos commence!!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Offer Is Still Good

It’s totally still good… way good… even gooder even. haha

anyways… it’s been a ridiculous couple of weeks… along with the busy season starting at my job one of my employees got into a really bad car accident. she’s okay for the most part but she’s gonna be out of work for a few months. I’ve been debating replacing her or just kinda sticking it out the best i can. Unfortunately sticking it out might include a couple of days where my boss’s son works in the store again. I think i’d rather be stuck there with no days off instead. He hasn’t worked there in over a year and people are STILL complaining about him. definitely not dry cleanerer material.

so i was thinking… it’s a really good thing to have a wide open facebook profile… this way when i delete people it takes them a really long time to figure it out if they ever do… everything still looks the same!  but for realz… some people just had to go. not a fan of the fakes. the pervs the creeps the jerks the god lovers the game requesters the over sharers those people are fine… but two faced… uh uh no way hose a.

 i was just kinda wondering if this refers to the size of this girl or her favorite sexual position… somehow i doubt it will turn out to be some really hot chick with long dark hair and perfect titties…
 Some people should skip the monograms… like may as well just put BARF on there…
 The occupant of this car threw that mcdonalds bag out the window… slob!
 On my way to asbury park that kid on the bike disregarded the green light and the fact that the highway was 5 lanes wide and rode right in front of the moving car. the driver then proceeded to read the kid the riot act for the duration of the green light… good for you white car guy!


 The cops finally came to see the picture i took of the radio shack robbers.. so since that’s news i figured i’d be like the patch news writers and post a pic of a cop car doing nothing.
new rule… if you’re over weight and want to eat pizza… get the workout in early and get fucking parking spot!
i was at the gym tonight… looking around… sometimes i feel like my boobs are small… they are not. some girls have like NO boobs… and that makes me sad.
welllll…. off to bed! usually i have thursday mornings off butttt not anymore!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Thursday Is Finally Here!

Okay… let’s get this going… i’ll apologize in advance for the commentary in this video sounding like an episode of the Kardashians… Danielle counted me saying the word like about 50 something times before i edited it… LOL…

So like… enjoy!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Failure Is Not An Option

well, that officially used to mean something completely different… i’m absolutely disgusted with a news story i heard yesterday about bayonne’s school system dropping the minimum passing grade from 70 to 65. they say by making it easy for children to be successful it will bread more success… i think it’s gonna breed more stupid kids. by setting the standards lower AND kids knowing about it that will just make them realize they don’t have to work as hard to get the same results. too bad that same theory doesn’t apply after they graduate. it’s such a great idea teaching kids that if at first you don’t succeed the system will kick in and make it easier so feelings don’t have to be hurt. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING MEEEEEE???? may as well submit your welfare and unemployment applications now!! but wait! you can’t read… i know! next semester there should be a class on how to beat the system! Fake your application 101! my goodness… how is this a good idea?  i get the no child left behind thing but that’s supposed to be NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND AND HE OR SHE HAS A CHANCE IN LIFE.  perhaps we’re saying that teachers and parents are just too lazy to properly educate today’s youth? who knows… lazy lazy lazy motherfuckers… this country really needs some tough love. feelings my ass. if i was a parent in this situation i would be outraged that they are basically admitting defeat on education… you know what other societies in this world would do with without an education system? they send those little shits to work! out in fields and shit if you can’t be educated you can at least provide for your family by harvesting crops or learning a trade or something. not americans tho… but we sure as hell can beat your ass at madden 13. a true talent.. but i’m sure we’re just gonna keep on coddling all these kids… i bet the suicide rate sky rockets 15 years from now when they all realize that not only did everyone around them let them down but they actually are complete failures.

well this is not the blog i intended on posting today… so that one is gonna have to wait til tomorrow or thursday… so here’s some pictures of people drive like morons.

CALL 911 IT’S A BAGEL EMERGENCY!!!! IT’S EMERGENT!!! and so is their need for a gym.
my car obviously has cooties.. lol and the white car… just bad. and the one behind it… this is just really bad.
on my way to freehold. that’s a laundry bin… and also the left lane at 40 mph. with a lot of unnecessary braking.
the new Space Invaders lol… get it?
what this guy actually meant to say instead of giving me the finger: “i’m sorry i can’t properly judge the speed of an oncoming vehicle as i fail to stop at a traffic control device and turn onto a highway in front of you making you have to slam on your brakes and honk your horn and drive up your adrenaline so early in the morning, i hope you can forgive me for this oversight.”
well stay tuned… good shit coming later this week!

Friday, August 24, 2012

To Whom It May Concern Or May Not Concern Or Whatever

(facebook, verizon, jcp&l, sovereign bank, pretty much every company that i interact with)… STOP CHANGING YOUR FUCKING WEBSITES EVERY 3 DAYS.. I get used to it… you change it… you say it’s to make my time easier but really I wanna climb through the computer and rip your web designer’s fucking mouse clicking finger off… while you’re at it… get rid of the mid-sign in advertisements that I click not interested on EVERY FUCKING TIME… as it turns out I’m still not interested in a 3.99 percent interest rate on a home loan NO ONE GETS THAT RATE ANYWAY!!!! just let me into my account so I can pay my bills and move on.  I still don’t want paperless billing and I reallllly don’t need a new cellphone (you know I don’t have an upgrade till January so stop sticking your ads in my face… such a tease)… what this is all stemming from is the most tragic event of them all. I’ve been timelined. 🙁  NO ONE. NOT A SINGLE FUCKING PERSON LIKES TIMELINE FACEBOOK. the person who made timeline facebook doesn’t even like it… they keep it just to not look stupid for wasting millions of dollars on a dumb unnavigationable piece of shit annoying suck my asshole retarded design. Ughhhh….

Which brings me to my next topic…

Retards, stewardesses and midgets are and will always be the proper terminology… you know why… because mental retardation is in that dsm IV book. Midgets have there own reality tv shows about being that way… you can’t capitalize on something while calling it biased. Like if you’re embarrassed don’t cash the check mother fuckers… this goes for guidos, fat people and basically everything on tv these days considering Americans only like to watch the abnormalities. Like plain ass white girls with average looks and mediocre intelligence and boring ass jobs and ugly friends don’t get shows… AMISH PEOPLE HAVE A SHOW!!! They can’t even watch it because they don’t believe in tv… it’s pathetic what we will compromise for money… geeezus fucking Christ. Haha.. where’s my show? ??  Stewardess is just a cooler word than flight attendant.

Next. I’ve come to the conclusion that as much as I tell myself that baked breaded chicken tastes just as good as pan fried breaded chicken it doesn’t and I’m fucking lying to myself. So is everyone else who says shit like that in attempt to trick their taste buds… baked french fries and potato chips aren’t as good as their fried counterparts. We’re all liars. Healthier in the body but not in the mind. So from now on… it’s gonna be like this… this chicken tastes like shit baked but I’d rather not have to pretend I have a thyroid problem. 🙂

Just so everyone knows… my camera broke. So as soon as I get a new one I’ll be back to taking pictures of unsuspecting parking lot douches.

I wrote this on my phone so any spelling errors don’t count.

Theeeeee End!
Okay okay!! i know i haven’t been posting as much as everyone would like but i’ve been so overwhelmingly busy lately. I know… there shouldn’t be excuses for why i can’t find the time to entertain everyone but i don’t like to post half-assed shit… I prefer my ramblings to be of a high quality than just some ill thought out stuff i’m rushing to post. I’ve picked up a new account at my job so that’s been keeping me busy in the mornings when i do most of my writing. after work has been consumed with trying to find a car. i swear i was much happier when i didn’t have money in savings. no decisions to make at all. now i can’t make a decision because there are too many choices… anyways, i’ve given up on trying to find a car. i’m just gonna make the one i have already extra fucking pimp. nothing compares to my caddy!

So in response to me fulfilling requests… i have been… someone wanted to see wet t-shirt i did that. someone wanted lacy stuff. done. i’ve got a video that i’m posting today that someone else requested.  I’ll totally give a how-to on blowjobs… prolly gonna use a dildo and not a real cock cuz that would be more like porn than informative.

i joined planet fitness again… it’s only $20 a month… i think the one thing holding me back from getting to LA all the time to workout is the fact that i absolutely HATE wasting 45 minutes getting there… Hooper Ave is ridiculous at the time i’m always looking to drive down it. 6 miles should not take that long… i still have my membership at LA so if i go straight from work i’ll be going there still… it’s just nice to have a place closer to home…

i’ve started reading a new book… it’s called Bared To You by Sylvia Day…. I’d have to say… so far it’s blowing away Fifty Shades… it’s much more dirty… the female main character isn’t an innocent virgin and the male is much more depraved especially with how he speaks during the sex… nothing turns me on more than a guy telling me how he’s gonna fuck my wet cunt. mmm that’s sounds pretty good right about now… i’ve been unusually horny lately… not unusual like more horny but unusual like i want kinda fucked up things… i wanna be like… owned… i want like my legs over my head and a hand around my throat with my hair being pulled at the same time and i want so hard that it pretty much hurts… like fuck me through it… make my pussy like it. then make me cum but don’t stop… keep the same pace or even faster after so i’m forced to scream… maybe even cum again…  yeah that sounds pretty good…

so my account dude is here and it’s time to do some work at work… i know tragic… enjoy!

alrighty… something is wrong with the uploader… i’m gonna have to try again later… not my fault this time!

Recent Posts

It’s Never Over

I sometimes wish I could have a camera follow me around like reality TV just so everyone can see how much i’m not joking when I say my life is ridiculously busy. I’m starting to sound like broken record. So I booked myself a room in AC for a couple of days just to detox from it all for a while. This would be the first day off I’ve had since July. JULY???? That’s insane, right? Not that I should be complaining about having a steady job that pays me well for my 69 1/2 hours of slave labor a week that I put into it. It’s all good tho. I do enjoy it….

Where did I leave off… November 21st… actually a lot of things have happened since then… I took my boilers license test and passed it. I still have not gotten the actual license in the mail yet… but it is the state of NJ so I guess 4 months is acceptable. (not really). Around the same time I applied for my fire arms ID card… I got that in 6 weeks and I’ve been shooting a pretty little Walthers PK380 a couple times a week now… my shots are starting to end up in the same place instead of all over the target. Bought a membership to a range and everything. The people there are super nice… but then again everyone carries a gun.

The holidays were decent this year… I didn’t go overboard on the spending but I went way too far on the eating… let it get super out of hand into the new year… the day after the super bowl I joined weight watchers… I know, I know… i’m not fat… I don’t think i’m fat… I just KNOW I can do much better… fast forward 4 weeks and i’m down 13.1 lbs. So yay me! And don’t worry… I’ve still got “dat ass”. lol I was strictly informed that I was not to lose that.

So here i am… been down here 24 hours now and it’s gotta be the worst weather imaginable for being 50 miles away from home… I’ve gotten about 30 NIXLE alerts that pretty much Lakewood and Brick are experiencing a mini weather apocalypse. floods, hail, lightening strikes… ugh… at least I don’t have to deal with any of that until tomorrow at like noon.

So yeah… 24 hours away from it all is about how long my brains needs to reset and be able to sit down on my computer and type away here… I’ve got some videos that Danielle took last night… not sure how great this wi-fi is gonna be at uploading them… i won like 40$ playing black jack so maybe i’ll spring for the better connection. we will see… cuz part of that is figuring out how to even do that… I feel like the older I get the less i’m able to figure out basic technology.

just checked my dropbox… absolutely nothing has uploaded from my phone to my computer… also it’s definitely flooding outside my window… good thing i’m on the 8th floor. my original plan for the day was to take a uber to the outlets lol.. what a joke… the ride home tomorrow is probably gonna suck too… especially with my fancy rear wheel drive sports car. oh well. at least it will look good skidding up the parkway.

i’m gonna mess with this moby picture app for a little while and see what i can accomplish with these videos.

well, I started with trying to send one from my phone… i’m not really sure if it’s working or not and I cannot find anything on my phone like a progression bar… i’m just gonna wait a while and refresh the website on my computer… good thing all I have is time right now… maybe i’ll go through the pictures I already have on my computer and at least move them into a “to be uploaded” file.

so… it literally sounds like who ever is in the room above me is actively trying to crash through the floor into my room… the wind is crazy right now… also there is a giant crack in the outer pane of glass in one of these windows… it looks like a smiley face. anywhoo… it’s been enough time, I think, to determine that the 40 second video I tried to upload is not uploading.

she’s so pretty when shes’s clean… vrooom!

My car comes with cool timers to play with… i think i’m about .2 seconds away from the lowest it can go.

so if i do this one photo at a time it works slow but at least it works… slow and steady. i wonder what will run out first… things to upload or the amount of taylor swift songs i have playing on my itunes. lol

The Princess Kristina (PK380)

shooting with the car group.

3rd video of 7 uploading… i’ll make a separate post for those, perhaps… or maybe just add to the bottom of this one.

i look okay in the morning lol

Kristina NoPants… one of my favorite shirts

1 of my butt


and here’s another!

so i took this picture to see my weight loss progress… and one day my employee was like… hey do you have a picture of your shoe wall so i can show my friend? and i was like yeahhhhh butttttt…..

so… i did a little edit… and she sent the picture… and somehow her friend didn’t even notice… hahahahahaha

so… we’ve come to an impasse… I’ve run out of photos to upload but my videos are still going… I’ve still got some Taylor Swift songs tho… maybe i’ll order that strut bar I want for my car so I can drive even more like an asshole on curves… what I should buy is a fucking tank to get home in…

here’s the smile crack in the window… i feel like it’s kinda ironic because if this goes…. no ones gonna be smiling.

Video 1

Video 2

Video 3

Video 4

Video 5

ran out of songs… on to Pitbull songs… there’s tons of those so i’ll be good till like midnight… I halfway wanna go to the pool bar later but I also do not want to be cold and I don’t really have an appropriate outfit that can look good and keep me warm at the same time… maybe i’ll go look around the stores they have here…

Video 6

I just ate a sugar free jello… it’s actually pretty good… it’s been so long since I’ve had regular jello that I don’t even remember what i’m missing.

Video 7

so that’s it for now… I know I say this all the time but i’ll try for more frequent updates… we will see!


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